Changing Habits For Good!

Create Those Healthy Habits, Baby!

 

My time here on the island is coming to a close, and although most people get sad at the end of a tropical island vacation, I’m pretty stoked to get back home.  Island fever, I guess. : )

But mostly I’m excited to keep instilling these strong habits I’ve created for myself since I’ve been out here.

In the video training below, you’ll see exactly what I did to add important, life-changing habits into my every day routine.

It’s not rocket science, but it’s profound… and it’s exactly what it takes to make new habits stick for good.

In the comments below the video, tell me the habits you are ready to instill and when you will be implementing my strategy.

Okay… It’s Jan 2nd… Who’s ready to rock?  (I know I am!)

Now, jump into the comment party over on the blog and I’ll see you there!

xoxo, Audra : )

Lessons Learned and Reflections for 2011

 

Hanging in Kauai, December 2011

I am writing this between Christmas and New Years, while I am traveling alone in Kauai.  Not sure if its because of our society or just this time of the year, but I always get very reflective and always crave alone time to reflect on my life over the course of the year past, look at my accomplishments, successes, and struggles.

I don’t know what kind of a year 2011 was for you, but this has been a year of dramatic change in my life, both good and bad.  Watching Be Fit Boot Camps keep exploding in popularity, and growing our team with the coolest people I’ve ever met has been mind boggling.  Watching my online nutrition company have it’s first year of expansive growth was amazing, too.  Traveling extensively this year for the sole purpose of networking and learning from other amazing entrepreneurs who also own fitness businesses has been a game changer for my businesses.

I also had a 7-year relationship to an amazing man end.  This was both profound and heart breaking.  While I am taking the necessary time to heal and am finally seeing a “light at the end of the tunnel”, this year felt like I’d taken 5 steps forward, then got knocked down and pushed 10 steps back… over… and over… and over again. : )

Which is why I decided to spend this holiday season on a tropical island alone.  There is nothing more healing than daily outdoor yoga sessions, followed by a “Be Fit Boot Camp style workout”, then paddling around the ocean attempting to catch waves (one day I might call myself a surfer!).

From my travels, to the 20+books I’ve read this year, to countless hours of audio-programs, to my own personal journey, I will share with you some of the biggest takeaways I’ve gotten from this year.  I do this for a few reasons:  one, it gives me profound clarity and reflection for my own life, and two, maybe you can learn something for your own life, and I challenge you to do so.

1.  Overcoming fear:  Your biggest obstabcle to living a fulfilled life.

It absolutely breaks my heart when I see people who want to change their life, health, or weight, but they are too embarrassed to come out to our Be Fit Boot Camps.  Or they won’t even tell their friends what they are doing because of fear of failure.  So many people make so many excuses so they don’t have to be responsible for their health and life, and the big driver behind it is always fear.  My question to you is this:  Would you rather feel a little out of place in an exercise class or deal with the inevitable devastation of corroded health, prescription drugs, medical bills, and the burden that puts on your entire family?  Look, part of life is fear itself.  Everyone has it and feels it.  The only difference between the person who perseveres and finds success is that they felt just as scared as you… but they went ahead and did it anyway.  (and oh.. BTW… there is NO way you could EVER feel embarrassed at our Be Fit Boot Camps or other Training Programs.  That is one of the SAFEST and most encouraging places you’ll ever find to take control of your health.

2.  Your relationships are everything.  Friends, family, and community are your lifeblood.

This also made my list from last year, and it gets truer and truer with each passing year.  After spending 7 years in a relationship, obviously our lives were completely intertwined.  So reconnecting with my family in Texas and building good friendships into great one’s has been a huge priority for me this year.  The growth I’ve experienced just from nurturing and spending time on meaningful relationships, from my mentors to my close friends, to my clients, has taught me what matters most in life.

3.  Success breeds success:  You become like those you hang around with most.

I figured this was a great lead in from number two, and because I’ve talked about this so much in the past, I know you’ve heard it before.  If you want to change your life, surround yourself with people who can help you get there.  This might mean hanging out with supportive friends, or hiring a coach to help you get to the next level.  And it most definitely also means steering clear of those people who will sabotage your success.  I have overcome more fear and progressed farther than I ever though possible because I surround myself with people who are doing it better than me.  Everytime.  If you want to make more money, surround yourself with people who do it better than you.  If you feel spiritually empty, surround yourself with people who are filled up.

4.  You have more control in your life than you think.

The mind is powerful. It can keep you stuck right where you are, or it can free you from the tyranny of your situation.  While there are many things you have no control over (we’ll get to that in #5), your health, fitness, and waistline are totally and completely within your control.  And it is a powerful feeling when you decide to take the bull by the horns, commit, and follow through knowing that you have a choice, and you have control.  I like to use my own health and fitness goals as a catalyst for all my other endeavors.  Once you realize you are in the drivers seat, it’s like providence moves and your paradigm shifts.  Taking control equals freedom from the inside out.

5.  Except for when you have no control…

This blog post was supposed to get out to you, Thursday.  But that was before someone broke into my apartment and stole my computer!  It was surreal.  I’ve traveled to 3rd world countries in sketchy situations and never had anything stolen from me.  But it happened here, in Kauai, in my apartment, with many people around, in broad daylight, while I was home!  After being a little shaken up, I called the front desk, security, and 911.  When security and the cops got here (I swear to God, they are all on island time… it took them forever to get here), I was in a weird space of feeling violated, but also not really knowing how to function without my computer!  (While yes, I came here to heal and relax…I also came to get some work done!)  The cops were very helpful, but the security guard annoyed me and I could feel myself snapping at him.  At that moment I had a stark realization:  He doesn’t know what emotions I’m feeling right now, and there’s no need to bring him into my internal drama.  So I immediately changed my demeanor, and instead of focusing on what had already happened (now in the past… can’t change it…), I focused on what needed to be done now, and how I would be able to accomplish it.

It was a profound shift.  In fact, when I was on the phone an hour later with my best friend Kristen, she couldn’t believe how calm I was and how well I was taking it.  I took that as a huge compliment to the way I purposefully and concsiously choose to live my life.  I can always choose reactions, thoughts, and feelings to any given situation that I may not have control over.  So from that perspective, you technically always have control.

6.  And this brings me to my final profound realization:

The only thing that really ever matters is what’s happening right now.  Taking your life moment my moment, not getting so caught up in the regrets of the past, or the anxiety of the future.  So when you are taking care of your health, exercising your body, or choosing life-giving foods… you are doing it NOW.  Pay attention.  When you are spending your time with the ones you care the most about… you are doing it NOW.  Pay attention.  And when you are in the throws of a situation that feels as if you have no control… you are doing it NOW.  pay attention.  You’ll never ever again have that experience, so the best gift you could ever give yourself (and those around you) is your presence.

I hope you have enjoyed a little slice of my life.  I hope you are also reflecting back upon your 2011 and making strong choices for yourself that will further you toward living a more fulfilled life.

 

And oh yeah… in case you were wondering, as if by fate, the cops recovered my computer in less than 24 hours.  I took that as a lesson from the Universe… to unplug!  And that’s exactly what I was “forced” to do, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing as a New Years Gift to myself!

 

I would love to hear from you below:  What lessons have you learned in 2011?  Share them below!

Cheers to an amazing 2012!!!

 

 

 

Presense Is Key

Hey Holiday Party People!

I have a question for you.

How’s everything going for you in the thick of the holiday season?

While we are sitting right in the middle of the holiday season, and the stresses of getting that perfect gift, or potentially having to be around extended family you don’t particularly enjoy, or just trying to get everything “done” and wrapped up as the New Year approaches, I just want to encourage you to take a deep breath, and be thankful for what you do have.

For me, I’m taking in the this year’s holiday Hawaii style!  I’ve been here for a few days so far, and truth be told, it’s taken me about that long to finally start to unwind.

But you see, I have big plans while I’m here.

After going through major growing pains in my business, and a painful breakup this year, my decision to spend this holiday season alone in a beautiful place in order to give myself the precious gift of time to heal feels so right.

What I’m practicing at it’s core is something that I know will help you through the hectic holiday season, too.  It’s called PRESENCE.

In this video (I made it right before I left town), you will not only get to hear me sing (sorry bout that…) but you’ll be able to take a deep breath with me, and take in the present moment.

While your out shopping for those perfect gifts for friends and family, remember that the most precious “present” you could ever give is your presence.

Are you giving any “presents” away this year that require your presence?

Can you think of a special gift in your life that didn’t cost a penny, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world?

Share your story below!

 

xoxo Audra

P.S.  Because the holidays can be a stressful time, I created the Holiday Survival Guide.  The full article  can be read here, and the downloadable guide is below:

My gift to you:  Your very own downloadable guide is here!

Happy Holidays!

PPS.  I’m using this special time in Hawaii to heal my heart, soul, and BODY!  I’m posting the entire adventure on facebook, so if you want to follow and encourage me along the way (today was tough… caffeine headaches suck!)… then be my friend on Face Book! http://www.facebook.com/audrajeanbaker

 

comparison chart for YBB

When Emotions Take Over


When emotions take over.

 

One aspect of reaching your goals within the realms of weight loss, health and fitness has to do with changing your eating habits.  I’ve said it a million times and I’m guessing I’ll say it a million times again, but cleaning up your food, and doing it on a consistent basis is the key to changing your body and losing weight.

And there is a diet, a plan, a guru, a program, or an organization, on every street corner telling you how to do it.  If you ask someone who’s lost weight, they will tell you the name of their diet, plan, guru, program, or organization that got them there.  True?

Here’s what I have to say about that:

They are all RIGHT!  With the exception of a few diet programs that I think need to fall off the face of the planet (fasting med programs are the first that come to mind followed by the ingenious cookie diet), most will give generally sound advice:  Stop eating so much crap and start eating more vegetables.

While I think shifting your lifestyle and eating habits are a bit more complex than the above general statement, for the points that I’d like to make today…the above will suffice.

The one crucial step that every single “program” seems to skip over however, is the insanely complex an intricate webbing of emotions tied into how and why we eat.

Because if it was just as simple as “eat less”, and I could give you the exact list of what to eat and you followed it to the tee, there would be no problems and we would all live happily ever after wearing our bikinis and Speedos on the beach without a care in the world.

But it’s not that easy.

Emotions play a huge part in our successes and failures when it comes to choosing the right foods and to weight loss in general.  The best diet plans in the world will do you absolutely no good if you’re unwilling to stop eating Ben & Jerry’s after a long and stressful day at work.  No guru can help you if you can’t stop yourself from “trolling” the kitchen unconsciously before and/or after dinner (or in the middle of the night for that matter…)

The underlining issue here is getting your emotional state of being in check so that you will have a greater chance of success at this game.

Now, when we are talking about emotional or compulsive eating (same thing by the way), lets be real here:  Who doesn’t eat emotionally? Think about how we celebrate birthdays and holidays.  We do it surrounded by lots of food.  I’m not talking about labeling emotional eating as “good” or “bad”.  I’m talking about paying attention as to who is ruling your world:  “you” (your higher self) or “your emotions” (your not-so-higher-self).

I was listening to a great speaker today, Dr. David Bruner talk about this exact concept.  He was speaking about when people lose all control and blame it all on their emotions.  “I just couldn’t control myself”, he joked.  His tone was light and it was quite funny because when it’s all said and done, the truth of the matter is that we—our higher selves—are completely in charge of our emotions.  There is an internal choice to make.  We get to decide when we act out emotionally. If you are used to letting your emotions guide you through life, this may seem unrealistic.  But if you listen very closely inside of yourself, there is a moment before the emotion takes over where your ‘higher self’ has the opportunity to choose one path or the other.  It really is within your control.

What I offer my clients are resources and tools to help them overcome this battle.

  • 1.  When it comes to emotional eating, the first step is to realize and bring it to your conscious (aka: AWAKE!) mind that you are choosing your food for reasons other than health and life.
  • 2.  It’s not about judging the above decision, but it’s about noticing if it serves you.  It might serve you to eat cake at a celebration, or indulge in wine and chocolate on Valentines Day.  The question is:  ‘Does this food I’m about to devour serve me and the higher good of what I want for my life?’
  • 3.  If the answer the above questions is an unequivocal “no”, then it’s probably time to take a look at what’s going on deeper inside of you. Because if you are emotionally eating and it serves no helpful purpose, then what you are really doing is attempting to solve an emotional problem by putting food in your mouth.  And here’s a little hint that’s 100% accurate:  IT NEVER WORKS.  Ever.  There is no type or amount of food that can fix whatever it is.  Never.  Ever. Never.  (Did I get my point across?)

I’ve recently received many wonderful emails from some of our Challengers who have had some struggles in this area.

One in particular, whom my heart goes out to, has just recently lost her sister.  Just hearing her say those words brought tears to my eyes and even as I write this, my heart goes out to her and her family.  She was so set with her plans of showing up to her training sessions and eating clean because she’s already done the internal work and realized that this is her year to get her health and weight under control.  And as soon as she discovered her sister’s untimely death, it all went out the window.

I offer this example to you as a real-life and very valid reason as to why someone would “fall away” from their worthy goals.  But tell me, how does food fix anything?  It might comfort you in the moment, but then within seconds the pain is still there and now you’re pissed because not only is your sister still gone, you just ate too much crap and feel worse than when you started.  The food was an attempt to make the pain go away, but what it did was create more pain.  Food will never fix the problem.

What is really needed in this moment is to FEEL THE PAIN.  To be so present to the moment that instead of trying to push the feelings away or stuff the feelings deep down inside, you choose to go a different route….you CHOOSE to feel it.

Now, lets get clear here.  I’m no therapist.  I’ve taken my fair share of “life and wellness coaching certifications” and read enough self-help books to understand all of this cognitively, but actually DOING the work (i.e.…. putting the cookie down and choosing to “feel the pain”) is really freaking hard.

But really, it’s the only answer to a better, healthier, and more productive life.

And the truth is that you will never completely attain your weight loss and health goals until you can work through your pain and get to the bottom of it.

The good news is that there is a lot of help out there.

1.    Go get a good therapist. Get the bottom of why you do what you do.  Tackle this with all of your heart and desire because you are worth it and you deserve to live a healthy life in a healthy body that is filled with pure energy for every day.  Emotional/compulsive eating will zap you of the very life energy you are seeking.  It will occupy your thoughts every second of every day, as some of you already know.  When you are finally finished with this way of living (why not be done with it right now?), then having qualified help while you are working through this can save you a lot of time and get you to the bottom of this faster.

2.    Although controversial, (some people don’t like her concepts of God), I absolutely love the book from Geneen Roth:  Women, Food, and God. And it’s not just for gals. It is profound and gets to the heart of emotional/compulsive eating like no other book I’ve read.  Plus Oprah love it. : )  And considering Oprah is the most public figure I know of when it comes to emotional eating, I dug right in and grabbed this book by the horns!

3.    The Diet Cure by Julia Ross is mandatory reading for most of my nutrition-coaching clients.  She shows that often times emotional eating has more to do with unbalanced physiology/hormones within the body.  Once you can get everything back in balance, then you will naturally not crave foods that create the emotional spiral of over-eating.  I think it’s a great book to teach about proper nutrition and amino acid supplementation.  I don’t think it digs deep enough into the real reasons for emotional eating…. and I truly believe that until you can “dig deep”…it will always creep back in eventually.

4.    Working with a qualified Nutritionist.  I highly recommend finding out if you are gluten-sensitive, lactose intolerant, sugar/caffeine addicted, or just plain outta whack with your hormones.  Often times the emotional problems are totally connected to the fact that your hormones are all messed up because you can’t stop eating sugar.  Getting the right tests and working in the right environment might help.  But take my warning here:  if you haven’t dealt with the compulsive eating issues, and then you have a nutritionist tell you to STOP eating a certain food… well… all hell could break loose and you end up eating exactly what you aren’t supposed to!  Many people get all excited to “go get a test” or “get the latest diet”, when what they really need to do is deal with the underlying problems…which leads me to say:  go re-read number one.

5.    There are a TON of tools and tricks you can use to help you along with this process, and I’ll share one of my favorites that I use with my clients right now.  I teach my clients to keep an untraditional food journal.  One that not only keeps track of what you ate but also keeps tabs on your emotional state of being during and at the end of the day.

Whew!  That was big.

I like to think I have very sound nutrition programs that include re-education, habit-changing focus, and the right style coaching to get the job done.  But no great “program” or “plan” can be successful until you are in a place where you (the higher you) are in control of your emotional choices.

The most important takeaway here is that when it’s all said and done, YOU are the controller over your emotions, not the other way around.  While you may feel debilitated or defeated at times, the truth is you are POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE and the sooner you connect your thoughts and beliefs with this truth, the sooner you will figure out how to manage your emotions, the sooner you will stop using emotional/compulsive eating as your crutch, and the sooner you will start to live the life of your dreams.

As anyone who has finally taken this step toward killing the emotional grip will tell you, it’s like you’ve finally gotten your life back.  Imagine spending your time focused on your family, your career, and your fitness goals (instead of your weight loss goals and your obsession with Ben&Jerry).  It becomes a paradigm shift that you for sure cannot live without.

How has emotional eating affected your life?  What are YOUR secrets to managing this?  Share with us all.