In this episode, I dive into a topic that is so hard for anyone on a health, healing, or weight loss journey. And of course, it’s hard… you’re trying to improve your health and feel better in your body because you’re NOT accepting of the way things are right now! I get it… AND… part of actually getting to the healthy goal and staying there includes accepting your now body… right now.

I’m going to teach you why you keep getting triggered (like that moment someone tagged you on facebook and you can’t believe that picture is on social!), and how to get out of that triggered cycle.

I’ll also walk you through some powerful tools to help you get in and stay in a space of reverence and acceptance of your now body in a way that is totally liberating and will likely help you maintain your health and weight loss journey for a lifetime.

Full Episode Transcript:

Hello. Hello, everybody. Welcome. Very excited to be here. It is  Tuesday. I am here live with my amazing people in my community, my Hello Body Freedom Facebook group. And I’m really excited to talk about this topic today. It has come up with a client recently and we were talking back and forth on Voxer.

And it was really powerful. And I thought, man, this I’m just sitting here spewing this out. This should be a podcast. And here’s what we were talking about. She is putting herself back out into the dating world. And a lot of body image things are coming up for her and it does not make her feel good.

Part of her journey is she definitely feels like she wants to lose some weight, but the reason why she is working with Hello Body Freedom and she is working with me is because she knows what to do and she’s done it multiple times before. But she knows the reason she’s stuck in her now body has nothing to do with when she knows what to do.

It has everything to do with when life gets really stressful and things don’t go quite right and her nervous system gets hijacked that her M O that she has had modus operandum since she was a child would be to eat and eat as a way to soothe and comfort. And so we actually talked about that in the past episode.

We talked about the trauma weight loss connection. So it’s a, an absolute nervous system connection for so many people. And there is a way that we work here in Hello Body Freedom so that we learn how to regulate our nervous system, that we learn how to work with the body in order to regulate the nervous system.

We work with our thoughts. We learn how to expand our window of tolerance so we can have a really stressful day and still not use food or alcohol as a coping strategy. These are all the great things that we do inside of Hello Body Freedom. But at the end of the day, even when you say yes To a health journey to better your health, maybe to reverse diabetes, get out of, pre metabolic syndrome to, work with your cholesterol, to eat healthier, to live a healthier lifestyle.

So, really moving into that health journey or healing journey. So a lot of us are healing our relationship with food, relationship with the body, healing, emotional eating. And both of those journeys very often include a weight loss journey, right? So there’s a lot of inner work that we’re doing, but there’s also this idea of the outer work.

Like I want to feel better in my body. And so when we have that, when here we are going “The body that I’m living in right now is not okay for me. This is unacceptable.” Okay. And then when we come from that angle, when we have those thoughts, and then our next thought is, I will be okay with my body.

I will be accepting of it. I will like my body. All of these things will happen. When the weight is off when I’m finally reached my goal. And that is what we really need to talk about today. This is a very important concept and it is one that will stump you for the rest of your life until you make decisions that it will no longer stump you.

So that is what I want to share with you today. I want to hand you. Some really practical ways that you can start to change your thinking around this, why it’s a really good idea to do it. I’m going to give you get some clarity there for you and really help walk you through in a way. My goal today is for you to walk away and really understand the necessity to come into a level of acceptance of your now body in this moment as a part of your journey moving forward or else, even if you do end up losing the weight, you will very likely gain it back. You will very likely not get the thing you think you’re going to get on the other side of it. In any meaningful way, if you have not started with this level of surrender and acceptance to the truth of this present moment in a meaningful way.

Alright, so that might be like a bitter pill to swallow and I’m not trying to give anybody bitter pills here. But I want to really dive into this with you guys today. Okay. So here’s the thing I do not like myself right now. I do not like my body. There’s a sense of shame. There’s a sense of disgust.

There’s a sense of anger. There’s a sense of hatred towards our, like our own self. And I’m not going to be accepting of my body until I’ve lost 20 pounds, lost a hundred pounds until I’ve cleaned this up. I’ve been on the phone with somebody who was so disgusted with herself. She was so angry with herself.

She was like, how could I have let myself get this bad? And she kept beating herself up on the call. And  her idea of eating like less than a thousand calories a day on some psycho food plan by some psycho personal trainer. And then she’s basically beating herself up with this personal trainer.

And I want to be really clear. This woman is I know her personally, we’ve had some, friendly interactions. She runs an online business, a very successful online business. She’s got maybe five kids right now. And she is of that age. I think she’s in her thirties and this is her and her husband.

Like they want a big family. And so she has the amazing, life that she wants in terms of having this beautiful family and she wants more babies and she has this amazing relationship with her husband. But the way that she was talking about herself, it was like, you wouldn’t talk to your worst enemy that way.

It was like, how dare I let myself get that bad? I’m like, dude. You like, run, like, a legit business here. You’re working, like, major hours at work and you’re also like a full-time mom. Like you, you have this big juggling thing going on right now and she can’t find that sense of, like, softness and kindness to herself.

And, the reason why this is such a cool and important story, I think, is because when we hate our way into the thing we think we need, I am not, I don’t deserve to eat anything less, anything more than a thousand calories. I don’t deserve to eat anything else besides plain broccoli and dried ass chicken breast, right?

And only when I reach my goal, then maybe. And there’s so many things wrong with that. Ultimately you’re coming from an energy of shame, disgust, fear. And it’s at the end of the day, you think that the weight getting off of you is somehow going to magically make all that stuff go away. And I want to be really like straight up.

I’m not here to pretend that when you do lose, 20 pounds, five pounds, even 20 pounds a hundred pounds that you don’t feel better. There is a sense if you are actually on a weight loss journey, I want to be very clear. This is for people who are self-proclaiming this is what’s happening to my body.

I know I will feel better from a health perspective and weight perspective. Okay. Yes, you will feel better. Yes, you will actually have the feel of oh I feel lighter. Oh these clothes fit differently Oh, I can wear a different size. Okay, all of those things are true, but If you never worked on your inner game, if you never worked on what we are going to be talking about here, what will happen is that really good feeling for hitting that goal, it will happen.

You will feel good. There will be a part of you that’s Oh, yes. But y’all, that feeling doesn’t stick around. Okay. Pretty soon you just get back to a normal. And if you don’t even know what normal is now because you hated your way all the way down the scale and now you don’t even know how to live because everything you did to get you there made you hate your life.

You never learned how to incorporate liking yourself, liking your life, liking the lifestyle that you’re creating. While you’re on this health and healing a weight loss journey, you are in for a big, I don’t know, man. You’re, come back to me when you gain it back, I’ll help you get it off or we can work on it right now is what I’m hoping will happen.

Okay. And so the problem here is in your thinking. So that’s what we’re specifically talking about here today. We’re not talking so much about nervous system, although I will give you some tools and tricks to work with what’s going on with the body at towards the end of this podcast. But for now. It is in your thinking and it is in the actual energy of disgust, shame, and absolute we use the word ornery here.

Just ornery towards yourself that you just refuse to cut yourself some slack in this moment. And that’s a big problem. And here’s an example I have, and this is a big one because I’ve been in this world for 25 years in some former fashion, working with women who want to change their bodies. And I have heard over and over again, I heard it this week twice.

I heard it last week. I’ve probably heard this a thousand billion times, not just a thousand, but a thousand billion, just to exaggerate it a little bit there. I will get on the phone with a prospective client and I will hear, I just looked back at a picture of myself from 10 years ago or 20 years ago, and I’m looking at this picture and I remember who I was in that picture.

I remember the thoughts I had about that picture back then. I thought I was so fat. I thought I was so ugly. I thought that the, but when I look at that picture now, I’m like, Oh my God, you look so young. You look so beautiful. You look so thin. You look so this, right? Who has had that experience? Just raise your hand and tell me.

Okay. Because this is a telltale sign that your problem is not your body. Okay. This is a telltale sign that your problem is in your thinking. And you had that shit ass thinking, pardon my language, but you had that shit ass thinking 10 years ago, 20 years ago when it was unacceptable back then. And you have it now and it’s not “Oh, I know that if I lose it, then I’m going to be there.”

No, you won’t. You haven’t actually practiced the mindset, the skillset of being okay and accepting your now body on this journey. Okay. So understand that this is really important. So when you realize this is really an important issue. So when you realize that the problem lies in your thinking about the situation.

Okay. And so this is about, you thinking that some number on a scale is going to bring you joy. It’s going to make you feel good in your body. And this is what you’re thinking in the present moment. You’re fantasizing about the future. But the problem with that is that you aren’t learning how to really drop in and go, I need to figure out how to get that for myself in this present moment, because if I can’t figure out how to get this for myself right now, what on earth makes me think that some rando moment in the future, it’s just going to magically happen.

It doesn’t work that way. So your capacity to feel good in your body, your capacity for joy and for happiness, it does not increase because of an outside circumstance. I want you to be really clear and outside circumstances, something outside, right? I lost the 20 pounds. That’s the physical circumstance that just happened.

You know, when we let. Our lives be dictated by something that has to happen before we are allowed to experience it. That is the problem. The goal here is to learn how to experience it right now. This is about giving yourself permission to feel the way you want to feel right now.

You literally have to practice this now. Over and over again, because the problem in this instance, it’s not your body. It’s literally your thoughts about your body. Okay. And so I think we can use summer as a great example. You need to practice feeling good in your body now. If you’re mortified, every time you put a tank top on, you need to practice wearing tank tops and starting to feel okay in that, right?

Here’s the thing. Even if you lose a hundred pounds, you can still go shopping at the clothing store and you could still put something on that doesn’t fit you. You could still find an outfit that fits you awkwardly. Fits your waist, but it’s too tight on your ass or it fits your ass. But it’s like all around your waist.

You have to put five belts on to make it work. Trust me, it still happens. If you can’t figure out how to go, how can I start to feel better right now? What can I do right now to feel better when I get dressed in the morning? What can I do right now to change my thoughts about how I feel when I’m wearing shorts or when I’m wearing tank tops, right?

How can I work on this right now in my now body? And so what I want to say is that we don’t want to wait until we lose the weight until we have better health. Okay. We want to work with the body right now. And we’ll get into this a little bit more. And so the thing is when you have the story in your body that I’m not okay, that this isn’t good that this is disgusting that I’m not, that you’re refusing to allow yourself to enjoy the present moment because your body’s not where you want your body to be. Okay. When you were doing that it’s almost like you’re objectifying your body.

It is you talking about yourself and about your body in a way that is just spinning thoughts up in your mind, spinning the BS up in your mind. You’re spinning the story and you’re spinning the story, and you believe the story. The very first thing you have to do is go,  maybe this story isn’t helping. Maybe this is an unhelpful thought. Maybe I could have a different way of seeing this and thinking about this. Okay. And I think that from a mindset perspective, the different way of seeing it and thinking about it is to be like we’ll get into, I’ll help you.

I’m going to help you get some ideas, but ultimately it’s like, what are the things I think I’m going to get? Once I lose the 30 pounds, once I lose the 70 pounds, once I I’m not going to have diabetes. I’m going to feel lighter. All of those things are true. If you got there or I’m going to feel healthier.

That’s a great thing. How can you feel healthier today? What can you do today? If you were like, no longer pre diabetic, right? And all of these things there, you would have had to have done something to make that happen. So what if you did that today? What if you did that thing that would make you feel like, Oh my God, this is the thing that you do that gets you there.

This is amazing, right? If you wanted to feel good in your clothes, what if you went to, and I’m not saying that this is the easiest thing. I want to really honor that. Find clothing that does fit your now body that makes you feel pretty. That goes yes, I can. This is good. This is good for today.

I can feel good now. Okay. And so when you do this, instead of spinning a story of like just objectifying your body of beating yourself up. Now what we want you to do, what I want you to do is experience life through your body. Okay. So if you want to, you think you’re going to be happy when you lose this weight, how can you evoke happiness in your life now?

Okay. If you want to feel, you think you’re going to feel more energetic and more liveliness, how can you access, energy, and aliveness now, right? If you think, Oh, I’m not sexy. That’s bullshit. I know some like triple plus women who are like sex goddesses, right? How can you bring out your sexy now?

Okay. That is the work. That is the work. All right. And so let me go ahead and give you some practical chip tips here, some ways to actually work with what comes up for you. And so I want to walk through what ends up happening that leads to this kind of thinking. And so we’re going to be working with some emotions here and I’m going to teach you how to walk through this a little bit.

I’m not saying that this is easy, but it is a little step-by-step. This is what I share with my clients when they are struggling because I don’t want to sit here and say that the struggle is not real because the struggle is real. And I get that, but let me help you get, get off the struggle bus.

Okay. So usually what happens is we get triggered by something. All right. And so what ends up happening is we walk by a mirror when we have shorts on and we see that our legs are jiggly or we see cellulite or something like that. And then that like triggers us to think that something’s wrong. And then we start down that shame spiral or somebody tags us on a picture in Facebook or something.

And we never asked to be tagged and we didn’t even approve the photo. And you’re like, Oh my God, that picture of me. Ah, and so you got triggered in that moment. Maybe somebody invited you to an event and you are literally not going to family events or, your friends invited you to this amazing, girl’s weekend or getaway or something.

And you are saying no to everything because you’re like, Oh, but I’m too, I don’t like my body. I can’t do this. These are the events that lead to the trigger. All right. And the trigger is a feeling in the body that does not feel good. So this feeling can be shame. It can be disgust. 

That’s just like the friend I was telling you about that was like, this is just unacceptable, right? This real, like, angry, unacceptable militant-type place. You can feel sad, you could feel shame you could feel, like, defeated like all of these feelings. If you just think about these feelings, defeated, shame, disgust, anger, right?

Absolutely unacceptable. Whenever you think about these, how do they make you feel? None of those feel good when this happens. Now, here’s the work is cause let me before I say the work, I want you to understand what happens when we feel those kinds of intense negative emotions at a high level where, where they trigger us.

Because we don’t like how they feel, and we want the feelings to go away so badly, what we will do is just about anything to make them go away. And so this then can lead down a spiral of flipping your middle fingers up and going, F it. And then you scroll through Instagram and see the latest lose 90 pounds and 90 days, whatever weight loss tactic.

And you go, do it. I’m just going to do it. I’m just going to do it. And if you have not gone and listened to some of the prior episodes, like what is food and body freedom really? You really need to go back and listen to that because what it will show you is that the faster you lose weight, the faster you gain it back.

And you get triggered because you’re feeling something that does not feel good. So you go try to do something. Now I have found working with clients for the length of time that I have, especially around body, there are two different pathways that often happen. One is the trigger that leads you to, I’m got to do something about this.

So we do majorly psychotically extreme things like dieting ourselves down. And the reason why this, I’m not going to get all the way into it, but research shows that everybody that does a weight loss diet gains it back the faster you lose the weight, the faster you gain it back. I was just talking to somebody like two weeks ago and she had lost a hundred pounds in eight months. And by the time she talked to me, she was back up by 120 pounds. Why? Because she had some big life events in her life. Friends were getting sick. There were funerals involved. It was a lot of emotional turmoil. And since Her answer to feeling emotional turmoil, whenever feelings get big is to eat.

Guess what? That weight loss journey didn’t really serve you. Did it right? This is what happens over and over again. If you recognize the story, please stay with me. Okay. So we get triggered. Something doesn’t feel good. And so we make a decision to do something crazy and extreme, which always leads to gaining the way back.

Or, and, or we end up numbing out, we end up completely disconnecting and dissociating because it doesn’t feel good in our body. We haven’t learned how to work with shame and disgust and anger and fear. We haven’t learned how to work with those emotions. And so then we dissociate, we disconnect. And one of the easiest ways that we do that. For those of us who use food or alcohol, we go drink ourselves into oblivion or we just go eat all the sugar, all the ice cream, all the thing. And we just shut down. And it’s not even that, there’s emotions involved. It’s just that’s the thing that we learned how to do.

So that way we’re not feeling right. I know this was my story for a really long time. And both of these are awful solutions. So let me give you a better solution. Okay. And these are not easy, but I’m going to help. So the first thing you want to know is the very first step is you want to recognize when you get triggered.

And the way that you can recognize this is either you are eating when you are not physically hungry, or you’re catching yourself about to join the craziest like diet thing in order to get this handled right now. I got to deal with this right now. So those are going to be two of your tricks. Those are two of your like, ah, okay.

Okay. I am triggered. Something is triggering me right now. And so your first, very first step is to notice when it comes up. Now, sometimes being able to connect to the feeling of what’s happening is actually pretty hard to do, which is why we eat the food really quick. So we don’t feel right.

Or why we get on a diet really quick. So we can like, feel like we’re doing something. Okay. But ultimately. The answer here is to learn how to feel the thing that you’re feeling that doesn’t feel good. Okay. And again, I didn’t say any of this shit’s easy. I’m just being really clear. It takes time and energy and effort to learn these things.

And here’s what we do. So it’s if we can feel shame, disgust, anger, fear. This is unacceptable. That has a sensation in the body. If we can take the story away, if we can stop being in our heads for a minute and then go down into the body and go, okay, here we go. I just Oh, like it feels away.

Shame is like the, Oh. It just it feels like just, I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s like waves that like roll up and down the body and it makes me feel weak. And it just is nobody wants to feel it. It’s just you want to go crawl in bed or anger. It’s like waves of heat that like, and all the things. So the trick here is when you start to go in your head about the story. The story of shame is I’m never going to get this. What the fuck is wrong with me? Everything’s wrong with me. What’s wrong with me? Everybody else seems to figure out life and I never do. That is the thought process, right?

So we want to get out of the thoughts and we just want to connect to what’s going on in our body. We want to feel what’s happening here. Anger is like mother fucker and you’re like spinning a story up in your head, right? When you catch yourself going no, I’m going to let go of the story and I’m just going to pay attention to this stuff inside of my body that I actually don’t want to feel.

All right. So number one, you notice that you’re triggered and you notice the things are coming up, maybe because of your actions of going on a diet or just disconnecting and eating when you’re not physically hungry. Maybe it’s the things you’re saying in your head, you’re catching yourself running loops up in your head that are totally not helpful.

It’s like giving a two-year-old a knife. Like, it’s like nothing unmanaged mind. Okay. So mental health matters. We want to learn how to work with this by quieting the thoughts and going into the body. Now, you’ve already heard me talking about how sometimes all of these feelings feel like waves in our body, right?

Lots of just like waves of just stuff. And so what we want to do is we want to try to ride the wave and this can literally be a mental mantra. Okay. This can be a way to do thought correction. And my thought correction is I’m going to, instead of eat myself into an oblivion instead of go on this crazy diet, I’m just going to ride the wave.

Like, I am a surfer and I’m riding this wave. Okay. And what happens is it’s a lot, right? When you’re feeling disgust. Or anger or shame or fear or whatever might be coming up for you, this trigger. But when you can stay with the analogy of riding the wave, and it is a wave of sensation and emotion in the body, and you can do this

by closing your eyes and by breathing, sometimes taking like big inhales and exhales will help. And you can imagine that when it starts to wash over you, the fear or the shame that you can feel it’s washing over you. Like you’re about to catch a wave. Like when you’re on a wave and you can this is if you surf, but you can imagine if you’re surfing, you’re on a wave, you might feel like splashing or you might feel it coming up against you, but you’re just going to keep riding the wave.

You’re just going to ride the wave. Okay. And here’s what’s crazy about this. What’s crazy about this is that what these emotions are, it’s just an energy in our body. It’s like stuff that we’re feeling and what we normally do is we don’t let ourselves ride the wave, right? What do we normally do?

We like tell ourselves it’s not okay. This is unacceptable. We go on a diet, we shove food in our face, we take whatever we’re feeling and we shove it in a closet. We get rid of it. We stuff it down with food. We do all of these things to not feel. But what we resist Persists. What we resist persists. Okay.

And so now you’re sitting here, not feeling what you want to feel spinning up in your head, making you’re making your two-year-old with a fricking knife running around your head, like an unsupervised mind, you’re letting it mean. You’re making meaning out of all this crazy that’s going on in your head, which is just sending you down a like downward spiral.

It’s this domino effect of hell. It is true food hell and body jail. When we allow ourselves to go through this thing, right? And that when you end up in that downward spiral, that horrible, like domino effect, downward spiral, that’s what leads to the drastic diet mode. That’s what leads to, binge mode, right?

And so the way out of this is through when you start to notice that you get triggered, you are going to take a breath. You’re going to bring in that new mental construct of I am a surfer bitches, and I’m going to ride this wave. Watch me do it. And you’re going to knock it out of the park. Okay. And you’re going to breathe and it’s going to wash over you and you’re going to know that you’re going to be okay.

You’re going to know that it’s going to feel this way. And here’s the coolest thing that research shows us that whenever we get out of our mind and we actually just feel what we’re feeling here, it’s literally the coolest thing ever that whatever you’re experiencing as you’re riding that wave it goes away.

It changes. It shifts. It morphs into something else. It like dissipates. If it was a 10 inside of 30 seconds to 120 seconds, it turns to a four inside of three minutes. It turns to a zero, right? It is, this is how we process it. This is how we do it. Okay. This is how we ride the wave, right?

So, you want to think about how can I ride this wave and how can I let this start to dissipate. Another fun trick I will tell you about right now when you are starting to feel things you don’t want to feel instead of shoving it in a closet trying to get rid of it, stuff it down with food, stuff it down with booze.

One of the things I teach my clients is just to simply shake, right? There’s all these different techniques that we can use using breath, using body, using sound, using all of these ways, but sometimes like just shaking and remember, we’re not trying to think, we’re not trying to be up in our head about a story.

We’re just feeling what we’re feeling. And then just Oh, shake it out and breathe and then get quiet. And then when you feel it roll up, just ride the wave. Yeah. And now I didn’t say that this is easy and the only reason it’s not easy is because you just haven’t had practice.

That’s it. It’s it. There’s, the only reason I promise you the more that you become less afraid of shame and disgust and fear and the less afraid you get of being triggered, right? You’re a human, your nervous system is probably gonna get triggered. Go back and look at the trauma weight connection, that particular podcast episode.

We’re not gonna be able to get rid of triggers for as long as we’re humans on this planet, but we can learn to work with them and we can learn to see them for what they are. And we can learn how to expand our window of tolerance so we can handle more and we can learn how to calm our nervous system by processing, which is what we just went through and I just talked about.

Okay. So that was a big answer. Now, the next one is a different mental construct that I want to give you that can also help you be in a place where you can start to come into reverence and respect for your now body. All right. And here is, I love to think about this. Cause ultimately what I’m trying to get you to do with this particular example is to readjust your thinking.

We’re going to completely readjust your thinking in a whole different way. So this isn’t so much about nervous system, like what we just went through with riding the wave of emotion right now. We need to change our thoughts, dude. Whenever you’re going down this beating yourself up thing, I like to think about my car.

Okay. Okay. So some people have these really awesome cars and my car is I’m not going to bash it, but here’s what I’m going to tell you about my little Ford Focus. It is a hot mess. It is always gross. It is always dirty. I work from home, so I like hardly ever drive. And so Josh and I share the car together.

And he treats the car like a pickup truck and he’s really into like landscaping and outdoor stuff and like fixing up her home and stuff. So this car, it’s a Ford Focus. Okay. It is at Lowe’s and home Depot more than I can even care to admit, like he puts giant things of mulch. And I don’t mean bags of mulch and dirt.

Like he shovels mulch and dirt into my car. Like I only have to drive the car like twice a week or something like that. And I get in there and I’m just like, I’m just deep breath. It’s okay. And I’m going to explain why it’s okay. Now here’s some more I want you to know about my Ford Focus.

Before my Ford Focus, I had a car that I loved. I bought a brand new head out in California. It was my Honda CRV and I took really great care of that car. I got washed, I kept it clean. I never had stuff in there. Like that’s my energy with my car, which I think also over time has reflected me just having a little bit like I do see the reflection of the way I was able to take care of my car when it was just my car and my own self-care journey of just being better at taking care of myself. And I don’t, I’m not saying you can’t be a great self-care and have a nasty car too. Like I’m not saying, but I can tell that for myself. So when I see this car it has been a little frustrating.

Now here’s the other funny thing about the car. There are dents on every single side of the car. My teenage daughter has literally dented every single side of the car. So there’s no place you can look at that does not have a dent or a scratch. When you get into the car, it’s dirt and mulch and garb. Like it’s all the things.

Okay, so that is one way that I can look at and think about my car. Now what I choose to do is think about my car in a completely other way, and I hope you were seeing the parallel between your car and the body. Here’s how I choose to think about my car. First and foremost, this car was a gift from heaven.

When I needed a gift from heaven from my uncle I paid for the car. It wasn’t like a free car, but  I didn’t have to go through a dealership. I needed a car. It had 7, 000 miles on it and the amount that I paid for it. It was like, in that moment, it was like a blessing. This car gets us everywhere we need to go.

We have taken road trips on this car. We, as you can clearly see, it’s taught our teenage daughter how to drive and my man uses it up for all the things that he needs. I keep it maintained so it does not break down on us. And quite frankly, I have a lot of respect and reverence for my Ford Focus.

It is paid for. It gets us to where we need to go. And yes, could we do some work on it? Could I actually do some work on my car? Give it a scrub, clean it out, put a little elbow grease in there, right? I’m not going to sit here and go what does my car look like shit? And then just sit around and bitch about it.

No. If I want my car to be a little cleaner, I can go look up a bodyworker. Okay. Who can fix this? What would that cost? I’m not sure. Okay. I could take it to get clean. There’s some elbow grease that could be put into it. But at the end of the day, in this moment with my car, I’m not trying to actually get it cleaned up and fixed, which maybe we’re trying to do that with my body.

But the point I’m making is I can still have a good mindset and really change the way I’m thinking to feel respect and reverence for something that I need in my life for where I live that works, that is dependable, reliable and I’m so damn thankful for my car, did you get that now when you can come from that place in your body?

Maybe you are not where you want to be. Maybe your hormones aren’t there. Maybe your stress level so high. Maybe you’re working on emotional regulation. Maybe you’re trying to get these healthy habits down, right? Maybe you are working through all of these pieces and that is great. You can work towards the future.

But I promise you, you are going to get there in a way that you really want to get there. If right now in this moment, you start to have reverence, respect for your now body, you start to go if I want to feel that way later, how do I feel that way today? How do I step up to the plate of my life today?

What little thing could I do? What could I do to feel into that? It might literally just be a mindset shift. That’s all it might be. Maybe I just need to practice smiling today. Maybe if I’m just sitting here doom and gloom all the time, and I think that losing weight is going to make me feel happy.

What if I tried to feel happy right now? I’m working on this body. Okay. Here I am. I’m going. Maybe if I just want to walk today, even though I’m exhausted, I wonder if a walk might make me feel more energized. What else could give me energy? So I’m sitting here and if all you’re thinking about in your now bodies, I’m so heavy,

this is the worst ever, everything hurts. Maybe you need to put a Lizzo song on and start to remember that like you can build energy in a lot of different ways. I love Lizzo. My most favorite song to get me like just pumping it’s, I think it’s called it’s about damn time. It’s about damn time.

Turn up the music. Oh my God. It’s the best song ever. Man, you gotta remember, you gotta remember that you deserve reverence and respect right now. Okay. All right. So now you have a mindset shift, so you can call it the Ford focus mindset shift. All right. You also, I walked you through an entire piece of working with the actual emotions and the things that go on in your body when you get super triggered and you start to feel shame about your body or disgust or anger or fear or things like that.

So I walked you through how to actually work with your emotions and we talked about riding the wave. And then the last thing that I want to bring up here is what is the book called. Oh my God. I just bought it today. Hold on. It’s called the and  I only heard somebody talking to podcast about this book.

I’m going to look up Amazon. I literally just bought it. I’m going to look at my orders. It’s called the mind-made prison, the mind-made prison. So I think it’s the whole thing’s really about mindset, but I heard this quote from it and I really liked it. So I heard the quote and I thought I’m going to get this book cause I’m just going to be good.

I’m just going to keep getting better and better at this. And here’s the thing. And here’s the biggest question that most people have. Most people go I feel if I accept my body right now, then I’m just not going to move forward. And I just think that’s bullshit. I don’t think that’s how it works at all.

And so here’s what the author of that book that I just bought for my birthday, but it hasn’t come yet. It’ll come tomorrow. I’m excited to start reading it. Here’s what he said. He said, “Plan and dream for your future, but don’t think that the future thing is going to be better than what is happening right now.”

If you are not allowing yourself to enjoy life and be happy, actually, I don’t think this is part of the cue. I think this is what I wrote. If you’re not allowing yourself to enjoy life, to be happy, like right now, there is no way some random time in the future is actually going to get you there. And you might be thinking that’s not true, ’cause I’m having a really bad day today.

Or I had to go to the dentist today. Or I had to stand in line, at the C at the DMV, or some other horrible place. Like, for me, it’s I had to go to Home Depot today. I hate going to those stores. And so you can go no, it will get better. Cause I won’t be at Home Depot.

I won’t be at the dentist, tomorrow, but the problem is in your thinking. The problem is thinking some future thing is where it’s at. Only place that it is at is right effing now. It is in the present moment. And when you realize that at the dentist when you realize that going, Oh my God, this is as good as it’s going to get.

This is it. This is it’s not going to get better than this. And so you start to really work with the mind and you start to go, wait a second. Like I am the only one in charge of changing this thought process. Okay. So many of us hate where we’re at. We want to be here and we hate the journey to get there.

But every part of your journey, learning patience, learning how to expand your tolerance to feel like un, unthrilled with being at Home Depot or at the dentist, right? Learning how to feel into whatever I need to do today. It might not be the thing I want to do, but it’s a thing I need to do because that’s the thing that’s going to move me forward.

How can I actually enjoy this process? How can I be so present to this moment and know that I can plan for the future and man, let’s all plan for the future. Let’s do that. But at the end of the day, our work is to be present and to bring presence into this moment. And when it comes to your body, when you can truly come to that place of reverence and respect right now, it is a level of acceptance that doesn’t mean we don’t move forward. That doesn’t mean we’re not still working on our healthy habits, getting healthy, moving forward, rocking and rolling, getting better. It means that we enjoy the journey a whole lot better because each time we take that action in the present moment, we are alive.

You are getting to decide in that moment. I feel good about what I’m doing. I’m changing the way I’m thinking in this moment. This moment matters. The presence of this moment. Okay, my friends, I hope that was helpful for you. That was a super fun episode. And then yeah, so good. Let’s see here what we have.

Ooh, I love this. And I want to finish off with one life thing here. Instead of a Q and A, cause I don’t see a lot of questions, but I want to share this with you. “I want to love all versions and sizes of myself. What I have learned is for years, I listened to others being negative whether I was skinny, fit, or overweight.” 

It did not matter if she was skinny, fit, or overweight. “Changing those thoughts are hard.” But, I want to offer something more to you, Rachel. They’re hard because you’re choosing that, that it’s hard. You’re choosing that changing those thoughts are hard.

So your next thought is this doesn’t have to be hard. I can literally decide right now, and I want you to use those two different things. Use the Ford focus analogy and use how to ride the wave of when you start to feel icky and get back into a place of acceptance of this present moment.

Yeah, that was beautiful because, at the end of the day, that’s just it. We, I think so many of us can relate to. It doesn’t matter how thin I was or how fit I was or how overweight I was over and over again. It’s my mind that has kept me stuck in this place. So this is a way to break free. This is a way to break free.

Okay, my friends, thank you so much for coming in plain and I’ll see you next time. Bye.

Important Links