You don’t quit on yourself because you lack willpower or self discipline.
You quit because you’re up against the multi-billion dollar weight loss, diet, and fitness industries that know you wanted the weight gone yesterday.
When we go all in with their extreme plans (the points! The macros! The amount of pushups! Woo hoo!!!)… it’s so far fetched from the life we’re living right now, we bounce right back to where we are right now.
It’s like if you’re broke, and you fell for some dude’s promises that he’ll teach you to be a millionaire in the next 6 months. There’s no way on Goddess’s green earth that’s going to happen because it’s too far fetched from where you are right now.
And even if it did happen and you miraculously became a millionaire in 6 months, research repeatedly shows you’ll lose it all before you know it and end up right back where you started.
It’s the exact same thing with losing weight or making changes with your health and body.
THE ECOLOGY OF CHANGE.
Pretend like you have a thick rubber band around your waist and you’re trying to anchor it to what you want.
The further away that thing is that you’re striving for is from where you already are, the tighter that rubber band and the more likely you’re going to be catapulted right back to where you started (often worse off).
It’s boring and not very sexy, but when you anchor yourself to something in the direction of where you’re trying to get to, it’s less of a stretch and your whole system (mind, body, emotions) can stabilize into the new habits and way of life before moving forward again.
THIS IS HOW REAL CHANGE HAPPENS Y’ALL.
So step 1: Create new habits that aren’t so far fetched from the life you’re already living.
This is what we do in my Love it 2 Lose it Lifestyle Tribe.
THE SECOND REASON YOU QUIT ON YOURSELF:
You’ve got trauma. Let’s all take a moment to destigmatize the word. None of us escape childhood without it, none of us escape adulthood without it, we all think someone else’s trauma is worse than ours so we dismiss our own pain, and almost none of us know how to truly remove it.
But luckily there’s some super smart psychologists, psychiatrists, and somatic therapists who have been doing research for decades and it turns out, there’s a way to release it.
Here’s the good news: Releasing the old stuff doesn’t mean you have to go back into the old story or even remember the story. Since trauma lives in the tissues of our body as stuck energy, sensations, and emotions… we release it through the tissues of our body.
This will save you HOURS of your life in talk therapy!
(side rant: omg…how many clients I’ve had who have been in therapy for YEARS or even DECADES… They’re extremely self aware. They know allll the things that happened to them… and yet… They still can’t stop overeating. Or they still struggle with intimate relationships. Or still can’t have orgasms. Or still hate their body. I’m not saying therapy is bad. I love therapy actually. My partner’s a therapist. But when it comes to actually releasing old stuck trauma patterns…if they live in the tissues of our body, we have to use the body to move and release them to finally get the relief we so desperately want.
So step 2: Remove the Blocks (aka trauma) that Keep you Stuck
Trauma is insidious because it lives under our conscious awareness. So the best way I’ve discovered to find out if I have any trauma (ehem… you don’t escape childhood without it….)
Is I ask myself:
Are there issues/problems that I’ve been trying to solve in my life that I can’t seem to figure out.
I want to lose weight, but I can’t seem to get into a right sized body and stay there.
I want to stop overeating, mindless eating, binge eating, stress eating… but it only goes away occasionally, and I can’t seem to stop it when it comes back.
I think I drink too much…I’d like to cut back… but something takes over and I binge drink.
I keep accumulating debt that I don’t know how I’m going to pay for…it feels irresponsible and I want to stop… but I somehow end up back in Lululemon or on amazon credit card in hand.
I want to be in a deep, healthy, intimate relationship, but every time I get serious about someone, I end it.
These are but just a few of a thousand examples of ways we self sabotage. If you find that you get stuck in a loop of behaviors that you wish you could stop, but never seem to be able to…. You’ve got some shit to work out, My Love!
Lets recap the two steps that you’re going to take to stop quitting on yourself:
- Create new habits that aren’t so far fetched from the life you’re already living.
- Remove the Blocks (aka trauma) that Keep you Stuck
This is what we do in my Love it 2 Lose it Lifestyle Tribe. I think what makes it work is that we’re doing it in community, supporting each other through our transformations…becoming the women we knew we were always meant to be.