“I tried this diet but I gained the weight back. I took those pills but they didn’t work. I hired a personal trainer, followed the food plan, and it still didn’t work.”
Based on the thousands of conversations I’ve had with potential clients, the number one reason women stay stuck with their health & body goals, and suffer in an obsessive and crappy relationship with food…is fear of failing.
And I get it. This isn’t your first rodeo.
You’ve likely tried a zillion diets, pills, shakes, programs, memberships, food delivery, gym equipment, surgery, injections… the list goes on and on. You’ve tried them all and you’re back to square one or even worse.
I just had a conversation with a new client who spent $1200 for a 40-day program that guaranteed weight loss. This client did this DOZENS of times over the span of 8 years only to be heavier than when she started.
That’s a lot of pain, suffering, and failing…YET, she was able to pick herself up, and say YES to herself and her commitment to getting to the other side of this hell…and truly into food and body freedom.
In today’s episode, I’m going over exactly what it takes to get over the fear of failing so that you can actually have success on your food & body freedom journey.
I’ll share:
- The definition of insanity and how to stop acting insane.
- How to access courage (in the face of fear) even when you’re putting effort in the right direction and focusing on the right thing
- The one thing you must understand (and get good at!) if you truly want to heal your relationship with food and be on a sustainable weight loss journey and keep it off
- The kind of mindset most of us DON’T have but is required, to get to the other side…I’ll show you how in this epi!
Resources and Links:
- Take the FREE Path to Food & Body Freedom Challenge!
- I’d love to hear your thoughts…Drop me a DM on Facebook or Insta!
TIMESTAMPS:
[00:00:00] Failing and Fear of Failure.
[00:04:42] Embracing failure in life.
[00:07:09] Embracing failure on the journey.
[00:12:17] Adopting a growth mindset.
[00:14:49] Finding the right strategy.
[00:17:23] Insanity of weight loss diets.
[00:22:33] Building resiliency.
[00:25:06] Celebrating failures and learning experiences.
[00:27:54] Support and untangling relationship with food.
[00:31:36] Feel your fear and do it anyways.
Full Episode Transcript:
Hello. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Hello Body Freedom podcast. I’m really excited that you’re here. Today is a really cool topic and it’s been coming up a lot for me lately and it’s all around failing. Woohoo. Who wants to fail? Yeah, I’m a failure. So the name of this podcast episode is How to Fail Your Way to Food and Body Freedom Success.
How to Fail Your Way to Food and Body Freedom Success. And the reason why this is near and dear to my heart in this moment is because I have had a ton of calls lately. Not so much with our Hello Body Freedom members because they already are on the other side of this, but I have so many amazing women that are going through the five-day path to food and body freedom challenge. It’s an actual challenge and it’s totally free. And I’m going to actually put that up here for a ticker because you also can do this.
So, if you’re struggling in any ways, I will talk about this particular thing, but you can go to hellobodyfreedom.com, hellobodyfreedom.com and you will see at the very top, you will see, Hey, five-day free challenge, path to food and body freedom challenge, and you can get. In there and check it out. But here’s the point that I’m making is that I have been talking to a lot of women and women who are starting to see that what we do here at HelloBody Freedom is very different than what they have done in the past.
And they are in a place where they are really wanting change. They’re not wanting to go on a diet. They’re not wanting to do all this bullshit. But they are literally so scared to fail. And quite frankly, that makes sense because, I’m talking to women in their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties, and they’re like, but I’ve already tried, but I failed in the past, but it didn’t work.
But every time I’ve lost the weight, I’ve gained it back. There is a lot of fear. And so I want to talk about how to get around the failure. There’s a lot of just being scared about it. And so a lot of the conversation when finally like the rubber meets the road is why even try if I’m going to fail and we’re going to wrap back around to that particular piece and how I help people in that moment.
But first I want to really just go through this process and I’ve got a bunch of topics for you. We’re going to talk about one, two, three, four, five. We’re going to talk about five, possibly, I’ve got a couple of bonus ones for you, of step by steps of what it takes to learn how to fail your way to food and body freedom, and why you’ve struggled in the past, and why it has been a failure, and then falling off the wagon and not even wanting to try again.
And then you finally get up the gumption to do it again, and then you fail again. Okay. So this brings me to a story that I’ve been thinking of about one of my Hello Buddy Freedom clients. I love her to death. And when we first got on the phone and talked, she was sitting at her dining room table and we’re on Zoom.
Like I really like everything we do here is this isn’t like some weird phone call where you can’t see anybody. Like we are in an age where I want to see your face. I want to have a conversation with you. So she’s in her dining room area and behind her, she’s got a lot of wall art up.
Like it’s, beautifully decorated and whatnot, but one of the pieces of wall art was like a quote on it. And I wish I could remember exactly what the quote was, but I’m going to give you the basics of it which was, if you can’t do it all the way, then why even bother? It was something to that extent.
It was really like, give it your all or don’t do it at all. Don’t even go there. And I know that there’s times when we don’t want to like half-ass things. We want to be able to go all in and I get the point. The point is be so committed. But the truth of the matter is as I was talking to this now client, this was before she became a client, one of her big roadblocks, a big thing that kept getting in the way is I’m so scared I’m going to fail.
I’ve tried so many times before and I’ve fallen off and quite frankly, there’s a lot of fear there. And then I read to her, I went, it’s so funny you say that because I’m sitting here looking at this little saying behind you and literally says, why even bother trying unless you can’t get it like basically.
And she started laughing because clearly she hung that she has a deep-rooted belief of fear of failure because quite frankly, failing means you got it wrong. We had a great conversation and it’s, some of the stuff that I’m going to share with you today, I probably shared with her during this call as well.
But the very, very first thing we want to talk about, and I say this publicly, I say this during the five-day food and body freedom challenge. I say this on the phone with all of our one-on-ones with our clients. I say this all the time. You are going to fail. I’m like, what are you so fucking scared of doing something that’s absolutely going to happen?
Failure is a part of the game. Yo failure is, you don’t get to where you want to be without failure being a part of the process. And if we don’t really get that, , and I want to be very clear, we could talk about this on so many levels of life, right? You are going to, you want to get a degree, like the length of time and the commitment that it requires to get a degree, whatever that might be, an undergrad, a grad PhD, whatever, there are moments that are going to feel like failures, right?
There are moments that are going to feel like, Oh, I didn’t study for that test. Oh, I partied too hard last night. Whatever the thing is, there are going to be moments of failure. So what do you just throw it away and don’t go get a degree? And so the very first thing I want to talk about is this idea of what it means to embrace this concept, to embrace that failure is a part of the journey, to know that part of your journey is going to be failure.
It is included in the whole enchilada. The thing that you’re looking for, food and body freedom, right? To get to that place. And when I say food and body freedom, here’s what I hear my clients asking for what all, the different phone calls I’ve been having these Zoom calls with all these amazing women it is,
I do not want to feel obsessed around food anymore. I don’t want to have to think about it all the time. I don’t want to have to, I just want my body to be a normal size where I feel like I’m having a normal relationship with my body, where I don’t hate it, where I’m having a normal relationship with food, where I’m not scared of it, or I’m not binging on it, or I’m, you’re right.
I’m not using it to fix how I feel like. That feels like food and body freedom success. Okay, but to get there, and let’s say that, I have my hands, I have one hand up a little higher than the other hand, like the up, the hand that’s up higher, I’m sitting here going, this is where you want to get, but the hand that’s down lower is where you’re stuck.
And there’s this path in between, but along that path, it’s not like you just immediately start succeeding and you never have a failure. The parts where you get it wrong, where you overeat, where you bad mouth yourself, where you have an emotional moment where You know, or you have an effort moment where you’re like, screw it.
I might as well eat the whole thing anyways. Like for that to be a part of the journey, there’s just no way to get to where you want to be without that being a part of the journey. So the very first thing I want to talk about is understanding that embracing failure really matters on this particular journey.
You are going to fail as part of the process. And what holds people back from ever reaching their goals, quite frankly, is that they are so scared of failure that they don’t even want to try. Okay. And so this one’s a big one. All right. So that’s the first one embracing the failure.
Okay. Number two, let’s go with a different mindset shift here, which is learning from your mistakes. So what do I mean by learning from your mistakes? There are two things that are going to, okay. There’s one thing that’s for sure going to happen. On your journey to food and body freedom success to get to that place where you just feel comfortable in your body, comfortable in your skin, you’re not obsessing over food, you can eat whatever you want, you’re not cutting out food groups, you are attuned to all of this thing, you are going to fail.
We’ve already talked about that. Okay. And so along this journey, two things happen, all right. You either get it right, so I’ve been connected with my hunger, my satisfaction, I’ve learned how to process what I’m feeling instead of go stuffing it down with food or booze, right? This is what we do in Hello Body Freedom we really go into the nitty gritty and step by steps of how to untangle these kind of behaviors that keep us stuck, right?
These failure behaviors, right? And so there’s times where you’re going to get it right. And that’s great. You are going to feel like, Woo, I got that I succeeded. Oh my God. I had a bad day and I was able to walk past the cookie store or whatever it might be. And I literally looked in there and I almost like that habit would have been to go in there.
Cause that’s what I always did. But then I’m like, wait a second. And I was able to stop myself. That’s a success. That’s wonderful. Okay, so remember the overarching thing here no matter what failure is a part of the situation here And then when we learn from our mistakes, what we know is that there’s two different situations.
This is a complete mindset shift Okay. Number one It’s that you got it right. What we just talked about. Congrats. That’s wonderful because now you’re building those neuronal patterns. You’re building the process. You’re embodying the actual experience of going in the direction you want to go. This is wonderful.
It’s also a part of the process. So one is you are going to succeed. You’re going to get it right. And then on the other side of that, you either sit here and believe that you failed, or you decide that I’m going to learn from this. Little water break.
So notice the mindset shift in what we’re talking about here. I either got it right, or I learned from the experience, feel the difference of what that happens in the body. And so inside of Hello Body Freedom, we have Step-by-step procedures that we give to our clients when they quote unquote failed when they got it wrong and part of those step by steps are getting your immediately getting your thoughts right.
Checking the thought error. We want to blip blip. We want to, oh, we want to catch that shitty thought. Oh, I just failed. What’s wrong with me? No. I am learning and I’m going to be damned because I’m not going to stop succeeding. I either get it right or I learn. And by learning from wherever it went wrong, by learning, oh my gosh, I just realized I’ve gotten six hours of sleep over the last three nights in a row, and there’s an absolute connection to overeating and lack of sleep.
Now I know I can learn from that. I can set better boundaries around my sleep. I can really work at that. Because now what you’re doing is you’re taking action in the direction that you wanna go based on what you’ve learned. And in my opinion, those opportunities I think can be even stronger than the moment when you just get it right.
The hard part about getting it right, like right off the bat, you’re like, Oh my God, you get like all these wins. They feel so good. And then you start to get an ego about it. I don’t know about you, but I know this was my thing, right? You’re like, Oh my God, look how easy this is. And this happens in the challenge.
So if you go through day one and day two, I’m literally handing you some of these strategies. And what people do is they’re like, Oh my God, I’m feeling so much better. Everything is going so good for me. I can tell I’m more intuitive. I’m feeling more into if I’m hungry and all, and I have heard this on the phone lately too.
And I’m like, great, that’s wonderful. But the real work is when you fell on your face and are you able to go, wait, I’m going to learn from this. I’m going to learn from this instead of go down some mental shitty spiral of what’s the problem and then you feel like crap. And then of course you’re going to go overeat.
Of course you’re going to throw your middle fingers up and say, F it. You know what I mean? All right. So this kind of leads me to the next one, which is adopting a growth mindset. This is real by the way, there’s a lot of research on this and we’re actually going to have a whole podcast episode dedicated to understanding growth mindset versus fixed mindset.
And so growth mindset is very like, what we just talked about. I can learn from this. I can improve from this. How do I make this happen? A fixed mindset gets you stuck in old patterns. So how do we move? And let me tell you, when we start to understand the difference between fixed mindset and growth mindset, what I will say for a lot of us that struggle with food and struggle with our bodies, struggle with overeating, mindless eating, comfort eating, binge eating because, we were told we were supposed to eat every three hours, like whatever the thing.
And then we struggle with our body. And then our answer has always been like, I’ve got to go diet. I’ve got to go diet. I’ve got to eat all of these things. What happens is we get in ruts. We are special unicorns, I think, that are especially prone to fixed mindset. Okay. Fixed mindset is also connected to just having a trauma body and I should say an unresolved trauma body.
So really just stuffing things down, not really resolving at a nervous system level. Okay. And so growth mindset. The start of growth mindset is your ability to go, I either get it right or I learn, I either get it right or I learn. You’re literally retraining yourself into having this different thought mentality, a different way to think.
It’s a different context of seeing what has happened in this moment. So that way you’re not looking at setbacks as this downward spiral of F it. I’m just going to go eat myself into oblivion. Okay. You are now able to go, okay, I don’t want the fixed mindset. I’m going to work on growth mindset.
All right. And then the next one, which is number four, so I’m just going to do a mini recap before we get going. So first it’s embracing failure because you’re going to fail. All right. And then it’s, I’m either succeeding or I’m learning. So really you’re learning from mistakes instead of calling it success or failure.
It’s success or learning. And then adopting the growth mindset. I just realized we probably could have talked about growth mindset first and then gone into that, but alas, welcome to me. I’m a new podcaster. And so you get the point though, right? Growth mindset and using I’m either succeeding or not learning is an example of how we start to build that growth mindset that I can learn and I can improve, which is very different than middle fingers up.
Ben and Jerry’s out. All right. So the next one, which is number four is finding the right strategy. This matters. I’ll just give you my example. I started teaching fitness when I’m barely 18 years old. I got into it because I just loved dancing around a room with a bunch of like 30 other women, like listening to music and putting dance routines together.
Like I taught a bunch of like aerobic classes and step aerobics. I loved it. And it made me feel really good. Like I got a real like first lived example of how good exercise can make somebody feel changes your mindset. It changes your mental health. It’s good for your physical health, like all the good stuff for it.
I’m really, I feel really blessed that I had that at a young age cause it was a good lesson for me to learn at that time. But what that led to is it led to perfectionism. It led to me being, cause like you can’t really separate fitness from like weight loss culture and diet culture. Cause so many people go I don’t like my body. I’m fat. I’m going to go to a gym and I’m going to work out. So that’s how I ended up in that realm. I feel like I got into teaching fitness for really pure reasons. And I loved it so much. And then it really started to get cloudy with this Oh, how do I get rid of this fat?
And my body doesn’t look as good as that body over there or, why if I exercise this much, but I’m still so chunky. That was a big one for me because I didn’t understand my emotional eating patterns at the time. I’m like, how is it that all the other fitness instructors look like really fit and trim?
And I’m like little chunky. Are there some chunk here? This was like, a long time ago. I was so unconscious of my eating behaviors. I was unconscious of the trauma that led me to using food as a big coping mechanism. But what I did was what all of us do.
We do the wrong strategy, which is we’re going to go on the South Beach diet. We’re going to go on the keto diet. We’re going to go on the, what is it? The Atkins. I’m trying to think of all the stupid shit that we’ve done. The, I’m going to, do the crazy HCG thing. I’m going to take this stupid crap and drink 500 or eat 500 calories a day.
It’s just insane what we do. Oh, I’m going to eat clean. And what you’re really telling yourself is only these foods are good, but those foods are bad. Which straight-upper diets, right? You’re cutting out food groups, and it is, what I’m here to tell you, is likely the strategy that you’ve been trying for a long time.
This is the strategies that 99. 9% of anybody that gets on the phone with me who’s interested in Hello Body Freedom, and they’re the wrong strategy. They are absolutely wrong strategy. Why do I know? Because cross longitudinal research done over decades upon decades show that when anyone goes on a restricted weight loss diet, that 90 to 97% of them gain it back.
That’s just about everybody y’all. I don’t know what to tell you. Okay. And so the definition of insanity is, Oh but I lost 20 pounds on this thing. And so I’m just going to go back and do the thing that worked. Yeah. But did it really work? You lost the weight, but then you gained it back and you gained more.
Oh, I know. I know. That’s because I got stressed and this thing had happened in life and that, but no. I know it works. Okay. So then you go and do it again. And then what happens when life gets stressful again? I literally just had a call with a client who did calorie counting, obsessive calorie counting to lose her 35 to 40 pounds.
And then she had to keep obsessively counting calories because she was so scared she was going to gain the weight back. And that’s what she did. And I want to be clear. She has a family. She has five kids and a husband, and now she is sitting here putting it, all this data in and macro and all of this stuff.
And she’s I’m just exhausted. This is crazy. I feel like I’m obsessed all the time. You got to find the right strategy people. That is the wrong strategy. Let me tell you something. When you popped out of your mama’s womb, all of us did. We popped out of somebody’s womb. Did you also have a measuring cup that came with you?
My guess is no, pretty sure nothing else came but you, the umbilical cord and all the other weird stuff. You didn’t come out with a measuring cup. Oh no, we got to measure exactly what this kid needs. That is like crazy. That is not right relationship with food and body. But what we do is we do these crazy things to try to lose weight.
We cut out food groups. We cut our calories in massive ways. We go from eating junk food diet. All of a sudden we’re like going to do this entire whole, what is it called? The whole 30 and I’m going to change everything. Guess what happens on day 31. Just go back to the way you were doing it, right?
Like insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, thinking you’re going to get different results, but you don’t get different results. What research shows is that is like not the right way to do it. So when you focus on the right things, This is when the magic happens. And this is why I sold my fitness company.
It’s why I don’t hand food plans out anymore, because what I need to eat is probably very different than what you need to eat, depending on your life, your lifestyle, your family, your age, like your culture. It’s not about the food. It’s about our relationship to our bodies and our relationship to the food.
And when we let that be the focus, when we’re focusing on creating normal relationship with food, when we’re focusing on, if weight loss is a part of the journey, how do we do that in a way where we’re able to tip the thermodynamics, which is real science in a direction that it starts moving, right?
In a way that works for our life. In a way that we can even go on vacation or have the holidays and still not end up gaining the weight, right? Like still be able to keep our weight the same or be on a sustainable weight loss journey if that’s what’s necessary. And then what about our relationship to binge eating and overeating and stress eating and mindless eating and feeling like food is the only thing that’s, that, that brings us pleasure.
So of course, if that’s the only thing that’s bringing us pleasure, that’s of course we’re going to overeat it, right? Find the right strategy. stop going up against the wall, right? You’re running a brick wall. Boom. Done with that. Okay. All right. So let’s go back over this.
Number one, you are learning to embrace the fact that you are going to fail. It’s a part of it. Yo. And that’s why we have to adopt that growth mindset. So you notice how I switched the order there. Okay. And then when we adopt that growth mindset, such as I’m either succeeding, getting a quote-unquote, or I am learning and having the processes to do this. This is what we do inside of hello body freedom. It’s one of the many things, but it’s huge, right? And then finding the right strategy, really, truly finding the right strategy really matters. And then the bonus one that I want to give you number five.
Is actually, I think I did say five. So there’s one more bonus one. The how do we build resilience, right? Because here’s the situation. If you are truly on a way to food and body freedom success, which means you are not doing some quick-ass fast diet to try to get the weight off as fast as you can.
You’re literally trying to learn a sustainable way to lose weight that fits with your life. That you can learn different ways to think, learn different ways to process and regulate what you’re feeling in your body so that food isn’t always the answer. Food or booze isn’t always the answer, right?
And so here you are on this journey and the truth of the matter is that the faster you lose the weight, the faster you gain it back. And I know so many of you listening to this can totally attest to that. And so to be on a sustainable weight loss journey, where we’re changing and healing from the inside out, where we’re building this inner ecology inside of us of resiliency.
So how do we do that? It’s this building of resiliency. And why do we need to do this? Because at the end of the day, you are going to get it right and you are going to get it wrong. Both are going to happen. And the more that you have that growth mindset and the more that you have a process for learning okay, I got this wrong and now step by step, how do I move myself out of this?
So that way it is a learning. It’s a learning opportunity instead of a failure that just leads to overeating or over-drinking, which just perpetuates a self-filling prophecy and you’re stuck with this relationship with food and body that does not feel like freedom and does not feel like success.
And so along this journey building the resilience matters. How we’re able to hold tight and really see, Oh my gosh, even though that there was this failure, I got this as well. So how do we build this resilience? So I’m going to give you two different things here as bonuses.
Number one is celebrating the progress and we do this inside of Hello Body Freedom like crazy. We even put like calendars. This is part of what we do every single month. We put it in front of us so that way we can see. One of my clients started, she told me this and I’m like, Oh my God, we’re going to implement this.
I’ve never even thought about this. What she writes on her calendar is if it feels like whatever the thing is that happened, that day, or whatever’s coming up, she will write it down. This is a significant emotional experience because she knows that when her resiliency is high and things are feeling great, she doesn’t have a problem with food.
She’s able to eat what she wants. She doesn’t feel like this need to overeat, but when it’s a significant emotional experience this is what she’s trying to untangle using food and alcohol in these ways, right? And so we now do this, everybody in Hello Body Freedom. And why do we do this? Because the first time that my clients did this and they, we go back and we look at the month and they, so the feeling inside of them might’ve been “man, I just don’t think I did that good that month, this month, yes, I lost some weight, but I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t enough. I know that I overate here.” So all that they’re doing is they’re narrowing in on the failures. But when we celebrate, when we actually look at it, and this is what clients say, they’re like, wow.
When I looked at that calendar, my own beliefs were like, I probably didn’t do that great this month. But when I look back at the data, holy shit like wins way up high. Quote, unquote failures, i. e. learning experiences actually down low. Oh my God, this shit is working right. And so then celebrating that.
So that is like to take your thoughts and your focus and you’re not making it up. It’s not like you’re pretending but you are focusing on what went right and you are changing. And let me tell you, not only does this build resilience, this also helps build that growth mindset we were talking about as well.
Okay. Very important. You will not get to where you want to go on this journey without failure being a part of it. Just want to make sure we’re all clear with that. So your ability to do this in a meaningful way to know that this is a part of the game is super important.
The last thing I want to offer you is getting support. really matters. And the reason why it really matters in terms of what we are doing here in Hello Body Freedom is that the overeating, comfort eating, stress eating, any kind of emotional or not emotional, what I’m trying to say, nervous system.
So when your nervous system is fried and stressed, like the higher the fight and flight freeze mode goes, that stress response goes up and up, the less access you have to the smart part of your brain. The less access you have to this prefrontal cortex. It’s like that goes down and then more of like hindbrain, back of brain, which is survival mode takes over.
And I want to be really clear. This isn’t about shaming anybody for overeating when you’re trying to not or emotional eating when you’re trying to not. But the truth of the matter is when we lose access to this part of our brain, this survival mode is unconscious and subconscious. And quite frankly. A long time ago, you learned that food and or booze, like both actually worked to make you feel better.
There’s a reason why you have that strong habit loop. Okay. And the worst part is that it’s subconscious and unconscious, right? You finally wake up from oblivion and then you’re like beating yourself up. Don’t do that. Failure is a part of it, right? We’re going to learn. You either succeed or you learn, but having support gets you there a hell of a lot faster.
And it’s not just any support. I want to be really clear here. When I talk about support, I’m not talking about talk therapy where you just talk and talk and talk and talk about your stuff. I’m sure as hell not talking about like personal trainer type suck it up buttercup, just do it.
That’s also, it’s not saying that. I’m not saying that talk therapy can’t make you feel better and that sometimes if your trainer like hits a nerve, you’ll go do the workout or something, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. The kind of support you need is how do we untangle these behaviors around food and around your body that keep getting in the way and that kind of support needs to be trauma-informed.
That kind of support needs to be like a container of holding, so that way you feel safe enough to come to the table and do this work of learning, of do the work to untangle in it. So you don’t end up sat down some shame spiral and then F it, screw it, I might as well eat all the food. Like what I have learned in the last.
I’ve been in the world of helping women with their bodies since I was 18. I started teaching fitness classes and then, I went to Bowman college. I became a nutrition educator. I owned my own fitness company. Like I was in it for that long, but when I finally quit that shit and I’m like, there has to be another way.
There’s a missing link here. And we started really working with the deeper reasons why we hold on to weight, the deeper reasons why we have to, like, how do we untangle this behavior and relationship with food? It was so evident. That the women in my world that actually received support just moved along a lot faster and it was a lot easier.
They were able to get through those times. Everybody fails and everybody succeeds, right? There is no other way out, but through and through comes with challenges and hurdles, but with support. It’s pretty powerful, pretty, pretty powerful. And so the last thing I’m going to leave you with today is that the fear that you have, the fear of failure, right?
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Okay. I think that when you have the fear and you’re not sure and what do I do? What do I do? I think that it’s there for a good reason. I think that whenever we understand That like we’re moving into a way and you’re in, whenever you get out of this wrong decision of just going down the diet trap and getting out of that insanity and you’re looking at avenues of, wow, I could see how this is so different than what other people do.
And I hear this all the time at Hello Body Freedom. You’re going to have the fear. What if it doesn’t work? What if I fail? So having those nerves is normal. Having that feeling in the pit of your stomach and that fear is normal for sure. But ultimately what you want to do is you want to get to a place where you realize that you’re never going to be where you want to go if you keep counseling with your fears.
If you keep taking counsel, if you keep listening and believing all of that, Oh my God, what if I fail? Who cares? If you keep letting that be the part that’s in charge, Literally nothing changes, right? The way that we get to the other side is by feeling whatever we’re feeling, which doesn’t feel good, right?
I’m scared. What if I fail? Because that is where growth happens. That is where we’re starting to be able to hit that edge, get a little out of our comfort zone, right? So the real issue isn’t the fear you have about failure, right? I think that’s probably there for a good reason. The real question here is What type of person do you want to be, right?
Do you want to be the person that sits there and just laments in your fears and let them drive the car of your life? You know what I mean? Let the fears take control. So nothing ever changes and you do not become the person you aspire to be. Which for the women I work with is just how do I get to this place of just normal relationship with food, a sustainable weight loss journey that doesn’t feel insane, right?
Feeling good in my body. Or the type of person, are you going to stay stuck so you don’t get to be there? Are you going to be the type of person who’s able to feel the discomfort, feel the fear and know that’s actually a good sign that you are moving in the direction that needs to happen?
Who do you want to be? Who do you want to be? Okay. So I want to encourage you to feel your fear. And do it anyways. Okay. Feel what you got to feel and go for it. And quite frankly, I think that’s where the support, like the real solid trauma-informed support and accountability. I feel like that’s where it comes in.
So you don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to feel like you’re just out there by yourself. Figuring it all out. How many times I tried to lose weight in a vacuum, trying to be secretive about it, not telling it was just so stupid and it never worked? 90 to 97% of people who go on a fast weight loss diet gain the weight back plus some.
So what I want to give you, if you have not yet, if this resonates with you, if you are ready for a different way, just hop over to hello body freedom.com. Hellobodyfreedom.com, and you will see my path to Food and Body Freedom Challenge. It is a five-day path. To food and body freedom challenge, you will start to immediately untangle what you’re going through in terms of your body and your health and any, funky, unhelpful relationships that we have with food and, or our body, and you will start to get free from that.
And it will definitely move you in the right direction. So that’s what I have for you guys today. Thank you so much for being here. So much fun having these conversations and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.
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