Are you struggling with weight gain despite feeling like you’re doing all the right things? Well, you might be dealing with unconscious self-sabotaging patterns.
Self-sabotage patterns like overeating, stress eating, or binge eating, disconnect you from yourself, your senses, and your feelings… and when this happens you get a complete shutdown.
Moreover, they leave you disconnected, dissociated, and unable to DO the things to make the right decisions and create the change you seek.
And then… when self-sabotage takes over, you start to believe the toxic beliefs that there must be something wrong with you.
Spoiler alert: It ain’t you!
So, watch the video to discover:
💥 Why you’re sabotaging your weight loss goals
💥 Why overeating and stress eating feel impossible to stop
💥 How to end the cycle of self-sabotaging your weight loss goals so that you can finally be free!
Now is the time to STOP disconnecting, STOP dissociating, and STOP feeling the inner hopelessness and resignation that overeating, emotional eating, and binge eating (ie: sabotage) creates in your life.
And I’m here to show you how!
Full Episode Transcript:
Hello, hello everybody. We are live. Live as live can be.
There’s my little puppy behind me. If you were watching the video of this, you can
see that my background and my couch is gone. We have adopted a new kitten and
I’m like, if that kitten has to be in my room and my office and my yoga space, that
couch back there gone. I don’t want any accidents happening.
So with that said, all is going well in our world. We are, let me just try to get the
mic. The default should be my microphone test, test, test. There we go. And we are
good to go.
Welcome to our Tuesday live. We do this every single Tuesday at 4 pm central. So
there are a ton of new people inside of our group. You can see, if you happen to be
watching the video of this, I have taught two power yoga classes and then I’ve had
back to back calls all day.
So I am feeling very like post workout, still in my yoga clothes that have dried
since then. And kind of, you know, one of those days where you’ve just got to like
buckle up and get your job done. And that’s what we’re here to do today with a
funny background and wild hair and zero makeup.
So welcome. Welcome. And this is how we roll my friends. This is how we get shit
done. I really think so. I think we, we, when we show up, no matter what, that’s the
trick. And so you might be going, what does any of this have to do with self
sabotage? Well, self sabotage is a real thing. And a lot of us struggle, maybe, or let
me, let me start over.
Maybe we don’t struggle so much with certain areas of our life. Maybe we love our
job and we’re good at showing up and we’re going to show up at work. We’re going
to make that happen. Right?
And maybe some of us are great in relationships and we, we show up and we’re,
you know what I mean? We’re not, you know, we, we put the time and energy and
effort to like make deposits into that relationship bank account, make deposits
into that career bank account. Right?
Like to do things that take good care of ourselves. Right? But for a lot of us, the
place where we struggle, at least if you’re in my world, it is with food and a
relationship with food and especially self sabotaging just our health and our body
in ways that, that feel like self sabotage. Right?
When we finally get to a place where we know that we want to feel better in our
body, we want to eat more nourishing foods. We want to take better care of
ourselves in a meaningful way, not just from the food front, but just on the overall
health, healthy habits front.
What it means to be a human with a body and how do I care for this whole human
self in a meaningful way. And that can be painful, a little bit.
Now, before I get going, what I want to make sure everybody knows, and I have not
been doing a very good job sharing that, but if you are new inside of our Hello
Body Freedom Facebook group, you know that we are three days away, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, three and a half days away from our
free challenge that starts this coming Friday, May 5th.
So, if you are catching this and you have not registered yet, you go right here to:
hellobodyfreedom.com forward slash five day path. And this is, this is your jam.
This is where to go. This is how to make it roll party people. So, we’re going to go
over in a giant way, self-sabotage.
In fact, we spend two entire days on self-sabotage. I want you to know that. So
what we’re going to talk about today is how we do it. So we can start to
understand, oh, that self-sabotage. Right? And then ultimately, so we can start to
really lay the foundation of how to stop that.
And again, we will go into major, major depth inside of the Path to Food and Body
Freedom Challenge, which is only a few days away. So, I thought that I would do
this kind of like as a bonus pre training for the challenge because I know so many
of you have been reaching out to me this week and last week. I mean, I have been
nonstop on the phone, nonstop in Facebook messenger and it’s been so amazing.
And, I keep asking you guys the question. And in fact, what if you, for those of you
who are here, you know, in the comments, answer, like what is your number one
problem? Like the number one problem you want solved is: number one weight
So, if it’s weight loss, you write in number one. Number two, right? And number
two, if it’s emotional eating and ending emotional eating. And number three, if it’s
just self sabotaging behaviors, like, you know that you’re sabotaging yourself when
it comes to your body, your health, food and all that other good stuff.
So, what would you say one, two or three, go ahead and if you’re here live, you can
put that in the comments. If you’re watching the replay, hashtag replay and let me
know and then put that in there. You can see if you’re watching the video, my cat,
like what that’s my giant cat. He doesn’t look that giant back there, but he’s like a
20 pound cat. He’s like scary to a lot of people, but he’s just making a debut in the
background. Just decided to hang out with us today. Okay. Welcome to cat world.
So, let me know in the comments. I would love to know one, two or three, because
what keeps coming back is some combination of these three, but so many people
are like, well, when it all boils down, it’s just self-sabotage. And, when it all boils
down, I want something for myself, but I do something else. I want to eat healthy,
but I can’t seem to stop the sugar. I want to move my body, but I can’t seem to get
off the couch Right? I say I’m going to do something, but I just don’t do it.
That is the biggie, my friends. That is the biggie. So, with that said, what I want to
do is just dive into the very first thing that we can do that you don’t even maybe
know in terms of self sabotage. And, I want to really dig in some trickery here.
The very first one that I want to talk about today is just the evil of dieting and
going on a diet. So, I just got off of a call with a brand new client. I’m so excited to
be working with her and she talked about precision nutrition. And, I know precision
nutrition because I have a degree in exercise physiology. I study nutrition in
And, as I was doing like boatloads of personal training and I had my fitness
company, precision nutrition is this great program. And you go through this, she
said she did an entire year challenge and all you do is work on the habits of
precision, nutrition, precision, nutrition. And that’s great. Good for you. How did
that end up panning out? That was my question to her.
And it worked. She felt great. It’s the best she’s felt in so long, but did it really work
when six months later, three months later, something dysregulates our nervous
system? And, the next thing we know, we are back to square one with our old
habits that we used to have, right?
So, a lot of the problem here is that we keep reaching for a solution. And, the
solution that we reach for is I’m going to go on a diet. I’m going to follow this food
plan, whatever you want to call it, right? And then, I’m going to hit the gym and
exercise. And, I’m not saying that these things are awful. I’m not sitting here saying
that you should never exercise. That’s not what I’m saying.
But, I’m saying is, if you think that those are the solutions, what has been shown
over and over again with anybody that goes on a major low calorie diet is that they
end up gaining the weight back. 90 to 97% of people. So you might think it’s self
sabotage and it feels that way for sure. But research is like, conclusive.
If you are going to go on a weight loss diet, you are 90 to 97% guaranteed to gain
that weight back. It is physiology. It is psychology. It is how the human body is
designed. You are not designed to drastically decrease the food that you’re eating.
You are not designed to cut out entire freaking food groups out of your diet. It’s
insane. And that’s what dieting does.
Dieting literally sets you up to overeat. It sets you up to binge eat. The massive
under eating leads to overeating every single time or at least 90 to 97% of the
time. I’m telling you, if you think, if you want to roll the dice for your bet that
you’re in the top 3% for this not going to happen, I just don’t think that’s the truth.
I’ve been in this world for 25 years. I’ve been working at this level for, I mean, this
is my career and I see it over and over and over again.
And finally, when people come to me, it’s because they’re finally like, “that shit
hasn’t been working. I’m kind of ready for a different answer and a different
solution.” And, just like the client who I’m super excited to start working with,
she’s, oh, cool. Oh, I love my clients are so badass. She just, like she knows, she
gets it, right? Precision nutrition, super fun. That’s great.
But, that doesn’t do anything to help me actually heal these deeper reasons why
I’m struggling. So, that’s the very first thing. If you decide to go on a diet, good luck
thinking that you’re not going to self sabotage because you’re going to. All right,
done with that. You finished that. Okay.
Other ways that we self sabotage. I mean, let’s go into the play safe. So, what do I
mean by play safe? So, I mean like, play it safe isn’t the right word, but it’s, it’s
literally where it’s a real gentle voice inside of you. You’re like, “but the couch is so
comfortable”, right? Oh, but it’s just so like easy.
Like, “do we really, you know what? Can we just go for a walk tomorrow? Like, do
we really have to do this right now?” And, the answer is no, you, you don’t have to
do it right now. But, the truth of the matter is, is that, if you continually do that
and you don’t get off the couch and if you had the goal of saying, I’m going to go
for a walk every night, that’s self-sabotage, right? So self-sabotage is really, really
Like, it is just, it shows up in ways when we think that like we have it, right? And, it’s
very unconscious. So, what about just resistance? How many times have you
found something that seems like the answer and the solution?
And, now all of a sudden you have resistance coming up inside of you and you’re
like, oh my God, I don’t, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And, then you find something
You know another one? Here’s number three. Resistance is one. Dieting, dieting,
dieting is number one. Play it safe. So we’re going to, we’re going to, we’re going to
talk a little bit more about that in a second. Resistance, right?
Resistance, not even showing up to do the thing, right? Or what about this one?
Number four, busying yourself. All of a sudden you have all of these goals. You
know that this is right. You know this, this thing that you want to do. And, the next
thing you know, you’re too busy to do anything. I don’t have time for this. I don’t
have time for that. I’m so busy, busy, busy, busy.
Busy is a way of self-sabotaging. Okay? That part of you that, that when we talked
about keeping you safe, like sitting on the couch like, oh, don’t go for that workout.
When you don’t show up, when you keep not even trying and you don’t show up,
the cool thing is that you can’t get it wrong. You can’t fail if you don’t try. So,
you’re literally trying to keep yourself safe from failure, right?
That is another example of how self-sabotage shows up, right? The same, on that
same idea is perpetually quitting.
So, you start something and then stop something and then not finishing what you
start is a way to keep you safe. You don’t have to fail. You don’t have to get it
wrong, right? You see how all this kind of like gels together?
So, this is a big deal because I mean, when you’re showing up as your higher self,
when you’re showing up as your true self, the part inside of you that has the vision
for the life that you want to live the way you want to feel.
It’s not about, oh, I envision myself 20 pounds lighter, maybe weight loss is a part
of the gig, but really it’s about what do I feel like in my body? How am I using this
You know, as a paintbrush to go paint the life, I want to live, to live a life filled with
vibrancy and love and connection and people and places and things and all the
things that fill your heart,
And, that’s really, really, really hard to do if we aren’t taking good care of this
vessel, right? And, to take care of it is self-care. To take care of it is to, well, I
probably need to move my body because bodies are meant to move.
And, I feel like I probably should put nourishing food in my body because that
makes me feel good, right? I should probably connect to my body. Am I even
hungry? Wait, I’m not even hungry. Well, why am I eating eight pounds of sugar
when I’m not even hungry, right?
Like, self-care is learning enough to know that if I start my day off with a sugar
bomb, oh, I might emotionally eat for the whole rest of the day. Like, is the self-
sabotage the emotional eating?
No, that’s called a blood sugar dysregulated like insulin roller coaster that you’re
on all day long, carb loading on the other side of that because we started with a
self-sabotaging thing, right?
And so, I want you to really hear the definition of self-sabotage is the act of
undermining your goals and dreams with unhelpful actions. The act of
undermining your goals and dreams with unhelpful actions, okay?
And so, these unhelpful actions can be very sneaky and very unconscious, all
right? Going on a diet seems like a good answer, but until you know the truth of
what dieting actually does to your body, you think you’re self-sabotaging, but
really that’s just physiology.
You’re like, oh, I self-sabotage because I went on this diet and I lost the weight and
I gained it back. Yeah, of course you did. That’s what diets do. We’ve got to learn
how to get into that space of, you know, if weight loss is a part of your journey, a
sustainable journey that includes healthy habits and nourishing and self-care so
that your ideal size starts to come in a way that is sustainable, right? Yeah.
And then, we have to look at keeping yourself safe. That’s number two, which we
talked about not even showing up, so that way you don’t even have to try. That’ll
definitely keep you safe. Perpetually quitting so you don’t finish anything. And
again, that keeps you safe for sure.
And, resistance. Like, when you finally see something in front of you that is the
path and now the resistance comes in, all of a sudden there’s a million excuses of
why you can’t do it, right?
And, one of those big excuses, busy. Just busy, life is busy. I don’t know what to
say, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. but I don’t want you to be busy for your life
I want you to step up to the plate and I want you to fell into how awesome this is
for you to literally start to let self-sabotage go. And, I think that the number one
way that you are going to do that is to go to hellobodyfreedom.com forward slash
five day path.
The five day path is going to hand you an entire framework. It is the Hello Body
Freedom framework. It is nothing that your personal trainer is giving you. It is
nothing that the nutritionist is giving you. We are going into understanding these
deeper pieces, these self-sabotaging pieces, right?
These unhelpful actions that are basically working in opposition of what we really
want when we are stepping into our true self, right? And when we work at that
level, when we can understand and work at that level, it is life-changing. It’s life-
changing because sabotage just starts to fall off. It’s really powerful. Yeah.
And so head over to hellobodyfreedom.com/five-day-path.
This is the Path to Food and Body Freedom challenge. It is five days we start on
Friday, May 5th at 12 pm. Central Standard Time. That’s US Central Chicago Dallas
time. If you’re in the UK, that’s probably 6 pm. If you’re on the West Coast, that’s
10 am, right? Let’s get our times right and set that alarm.
And, I’m going to walk you through a framework that will change your life. You will
be able to understand why the fitness plan hasn’t worked. You will be able to
understand why eating clean hasn’t worked. And, you will start to realize what it
actually takes from not just a thought process and not just a mindset process.
We’re not going to mindset our way into weight loss, right? It requires a bit more
than just thinking ourselves through it, right? But it is a mind, body, connection,
and healing that happens. And, when we are willing and able to go a little deeper
to do this healing, I don’t know, man, life just starts to get sweet.
I spent 30 years of my life using food to fix my feelings, 30 years. And then,
because I hadn’t put the pieces of the puzzle together, I had to figure out how to
put the God damn puzzle pieces of the puzzle together.
It took me a good five to six years of really studying, going to the Institute for the
Psychology of Eating, studying embodiments, studying trauma resolution, really
putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
And, that’s what I’ve done. That’s what Hello Body Freedom is. So, I’m so glad that
you’re here. Give me a big shout out in the comments. Like, “yes, I’m doing this
challenge. Yes, I will set my alarm. Yes, this is happening.” This challenge is free.
This is my way of giving back.
This is my way of helping you to really plant the seeds, to get you moving into
feeling those levels of freedom with your body that I know you want, that you
deserve, that all of us deserve.
All of us deserve to not feel so totally obsessed around food. Where we feel
normal relationship with food, where we actually have a level of reverence and
respect for this body that is ours. This body that is meant to be a vessel on this
planet to go out into the world and do amazing things. Right? It’s not to be
something that’s objectified.
But, the more that we self-care for our body, the more energy we give and the
more energy we get and the better we feel. And, as we heal our relationship with
food and it just becomes a normal, beautiful relationship with food where we learn
how to say yes to food and no to food, both and in a beautiful balance that is in
connection to knowing yourself, having that level of trust like, I got me. I got me.
And, that is the power of what is waiting for you with that five day path to food
and body freedom. All right, y’all. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Thank you
guys for coming in. It’s so good to see everybody here. And if you have, if you have
not signed up, right there, and if you need help or you have questions, drop me a
DM. I am inside of Facebook DMs like all day long. So knock that out of the park,
And, I will see you next week for the next, every single Tuesday, 4 PM Central for
our Tuesday Live. See you then. Bye everybody.