Using food to fix the moment when you’re tired, lonely, frustrated, or sad can totally suck because it often feels like food is in control. But wait! It gets crazier because we can also use food when we’re really happy and excited! We also use food for no other reason except “it’s there” (enter the break room filled with donuts)

Not everybody struggles with the above, but if you feel like food seems to always be in control and self-sabotage is running the show…this is DEF not a normal relationship with food.

In this episode, I’m going to show you:

  • How your “survival state” and frazzled nervous system is the problem (and yes…I’ll hand you the solution!)
  • How to start working with a “frazzled NS to get you out of survival and back into thriving
  • The absolute best thing that food actually fixes! (zero guilt here!)
  • And yes…the absolute FASTEST way out of using food to cope.
  • Plus a whole lot more!

Not to be missed if you want a SANE relationship with food and to lose weight in a non-diety way.

TIMESTAMPS:

[00:00:29] Emotional eating and weight struggles.

[00:03:20] Emotional digestion and coping.

[00:07:40] The fastest way out.

[00:11:51] Thriving in the autonomic nervous system.

[00:14:55] Pleasure as the fastest way to stop using food to cope.

[00:17:55] Treating food with true love.

[00:22:25] Laughter inducing pleasure.

[00:25:11] Touch and massage.

[00:28:37] Connection with other humans.

[00:31:41] Pleasure as a pathway.

[00:35:08] Food freedom and body freedom.

Full Episode Transcript:

Today I have a very juicy topic and I’m talking about it really the fastest way out of using food to cope. Why would we talk about this?

Because the only reason you’re struggling with weight is that you’re Eating more food than what your body needs. If you’re holding on to extra weight, I want to be really careful. A lot of us can struggle with food. It doesn’t even matter what size you are. All right. I tend to attract women who struggle as I did with emotional eating, with the relationship with food, with the relationship with body gaining weight, losing weight, not able to take the weight off, losing weight, gaining the weight back, total pain in the ass.

And at the end of the day, if we just look at this scientifically, what we’re doing is we’re taking in more energy than what our body needs. So our body expands. And what I’ve discovered is that the biggest reason why we do this is emotional eating. It’s a working with the nervous system.

That’s super frazzled. So how we get as soon as we start to get really frazzled, we get really emotional. We don’t want to feel what we’re feeling. We use food as a fix, right? We use food to cope. So if you were interested, and learning the fastest way out of this, how to stop using food as a fix. What ends up happening, first off you’re in the right place, but what ends up happening is food, your relationships with just starts to become more neutral.

There’s a lot of complexity to it for sure, but it is really exciting. So thank you for being here. If you are new into my world, I am Audra. I help women heal. They, a struggling relationship with food. I help women get out of food, hell and body jail and living a life that they love and a body that they actually revere and respect and honor and all the good stuff.

And I do this by helping you heal the deeper reasons why you struggle with food in the first place. So if you continually self sabotage, if you gain weight and lose weight, if you try to go on a diet, then you end up binging and under eating and overeating. This, my friends, is a dysfunctional, not normal relationship with food, and there’s usually a reason for that.

We find that food is a fix. At some point in our life, we learn food is comfort, food is love, food is joy, food makes us feel better, and all of these can be true. But at the end of the day, if you’re struggling with your relationship with food and you want to change that, then you are definitely in the right place to do that in a very sane, Non diety way.

So sustainable weight loss is possible, not just possible, but probable. Not just probable, but you start to shift and change from the inside out. We get to the root of what’s going on. So anyhow, let’s dive in. I’m super excited about this one. It’s gonna be so good. Okay. First let’s just talk a little bit about an overwhelmed and nervous system.

Okay. And what do I mean by that? I mean that one of the biggest reason why not all of that, there’s a lot of reasons, but the biggest reason why you would be eating more than your body needs is because you’re using food for a bazillion reasons other than physical hunger. So yes, you might eat because of physical hunger, but most of the time you eat because you’re bored, lonely, sad, stressed.

Just there in front of you, just because I want it, right? We have a quadrillion reasons. For using food to fix a problem when actually foods best problem like the best thing it fixes is the state of physical hunger, right? That’s a very different than emotional hunger, right? And so why would we use food?

When we’re hung, when we’re bored, sad, scared, stressed, lonely, angry, anxious, all of the things, right? Because those emotions, for a lot of us, are hard to experience, okay? Let’s just call a spade. When we didn’t learn how to process our emotions when we were kids, Almost all this happens in childhood.

Or we’ve gone through a big traumatic situation where we didn’t resolve all of those big emotions that came up. We did not work through and process. I call this emotional digestion. If we don’t learn how to do that, what we do is we learn how to cope. We figure out some way To fix what we’re feeling because if we don’t know how to work with these kind of like big, overwhelming, intense feelings and emotions in our body, we don’t know how to name them.

We, all we know is it feels uncomfortable. Something’s not right.  If you got bullied, if you heard when you were in kid if you overheard the mean girls talking shit about you, that messes with your entire emotional body, your entire nervous system, that is a frazzled nervous system.

If you go into work and you found out like, there’s this group of people over here that have been badmouthing you at work or you find out your boss like blamed you for something you didn’t do. There’s a quadrillion examples of what we could give, right? Your kids, your preteen kids.

This isn’t a Facebook group. I met a gal’s 10-year-old kid, just like a slam the door on her face and called her a name. And she didn’t think she was going to have to deal with this until like teenage years.  And what happened to that mom? Really overwhelmed, frazzled nervous system. There’s so many things that can set it off, set us off. Now, yes, there’s awful things that happen, but at the end of the day, it’s our nervous system and our own inability to process that. And so if we didn’t learn how to process that. We likely learned at a very young age that food is a real fast fix.

It makes you feel better. It literally changes your inner state, right? So as you’re eating, it changes your biochemistry. It changes the fullness of your body. You feel, instead of feeling empty or shaky, you start to feel more grounded and full, like all of these things, right? Sugar’s a dopamine hit, right?

Sometimes we like, it’s a pleasure hit, right? And if you’ve been following me long enough, you understand that the biggest reason why you would continue to self sabotage it’s that we’re struggling with overwhelmed, frazzled, intense nervous systems that are just ah, like really outside of what our window of tolerance is.

Okay. And if that, if you haven’t learned how to soothe that nervous system and process those emotions In a more productive way, we’ll call it that way. And a long time ago, you learned that food fixed it. What you have is a really strong habit pathway. I feel this certain thing, I reach for food to fix it.

And it could be a big thing. It could be, I had a stressful day at work, I’m heading to the Tex Mex place for a plate of nachos and a pint of margaritas, right? Just, it’s ingrained. Or stressful day at work, pints of ice cream while I’m watching Outlander. Does anybody else watch Outlander?

I am obsessed with Jamie Frazier, whole other story. But I’m not doing it with a pint of ice cream these days, which is really big win. This is the freedom that waits for you. You can watch a ridiculously dramatic, romantic thing  and be in a bad mood and have a stressful day at work.  And the ice, the pint of ice cream, the gallon of ice cream is not a part of it anymore.

Okay. So it’s the frazzled nervous system that creates the problem, right? And if we haven’t learned other coping strategies or more productive ways to move and process and digest these sensations and feelings and emotions, and then if we have shitty thoughts in our head, it’s a whole shebanger, then we eat now.

There are a lot of ways that I talk about we’re going to be doing a really cool five day challenge in about one month, a little less than one month from today. So I’m really excited about that. So stay tuned for those of you that are here. But for now, I thought that it would be better to give you the biggest bang for the buck in terms of what can turn it around really fast.

All right. So the name of this is about, do you want to know the fastest way out of using food to cope? All right. Cause I want you to really understand something. Food is not the problem. When you reach for food or booze, we can put both of those. Cause they both equal.

We’re reaching for them to fix a feeling that we’re having inside of us. What we need to understand is that it’s not the problem, my friends, it is the solution. We have learned that in order to fix this, the solution is reaching for the food. So what we need is a totally different solution. Before I give it to you, because I’m going to really break it down, and you’re going to love it, I want you to take notes on it, but First, I want you to understand a little bit about your frazzled overwhelmed nervous system that we’ve been talking about.

Okay. Your primal brain, this is your autonomic nervous system. It’s the oldest part of your nervous system. It’s like the most unconscious part of your nervous system. Meaning this part of your brain that you and I are sitting here, you’re listening to me. You’re wondering what I’m all about. You’re having thoughts about what this is, right?

You want to know what the thing is the fastest way out of this. You’re thinking with this part of your brain. right? But it’s the back part of your brain that’s really checking everything in. Are you safe? Is this a safe situation?  Is my door locked? Is the temperature too hot?

Is the temperature too cold? Your autonomic nervous system is always gauging what it needs to do to keep you safe and alive. And so when your nervous system gets really frazzled because of a shitty conversation at work, because you’re Kiddos started screaming at you and saying not nice things, you and your partner got in a fight or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, right?

We just wake up feeling blah. This can happen as well. When this happens, your nervous system tends to go into your autonomic nervous system has two different branches. One of them is the like fight or flight. Which is, oh my gosh, let’s call it the stress response, right? I like, this is a stress response.

My nervous system is getting activated. Or it has the opposite response, which is the parasympathetic nervous system. So if the stress response also called fight and flight this can be considered survival mode and it can get activated in any level. So survival mode could just be every day.

You’re just trying to hang on to survive, right? Or it could be like legit survival mode. You need to speed up or hit the brakes so you can get around this dangerous situation in your car. It’s a really important part of our nervous system. The problem is when we live in this state for a really long time.

So what happens when the fight or flight the survival part of your nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system starts to get activated. What we have here is that it’s your lower brain just takes over and you don’t have as much connection to the smart part of your brain. You don’t have as much connection to the part of you that wants to have all of these healthy choices, right?

And so when this happens, we are inside a fight or flight. Now we have a hormonal cascade of stress hormones, right? Cortisol, right? This actually is a hormone that’s known to like really hold weight in the middle, cortisol  and even insulin. Both of these get like elevated and especially challenged in a stress response.

Adrenaline, another stress hormone, right? And so when you have all these stress hormones happening and you have a fight or flight, Stress situation happening in your autonomic nervous system. The other thing that happens is that your blood shuns away from your center out to your limbs, right? It’s meaning that where you have the most digestive capacity, the most capacity to get full metabolic, like juice from all the food that you’re eating, it like goes away.

And we wonder why we have tummy problems and things like that whenever we’re chronically in a stress state, right? You’re not able to fully metabolically like really you’re not able to get the most metabolic benefit out of your food. You’re not able to fully digest whenever you’re in this chronic stress state.

Okay. And so there’s a lot of things about this fight or flight that feels really disconnected. It’s survival mode, right now, if we go over to the other side, and this is really important that you hear this, because this is where thriving happens. So if we have two different parts of our autonomic nervous system, one is the stress response.

The other one. It’s called parasympathetic nervous system. It’s like the rest and digest part of your nervous system. This is where thriving happens. So if one is surviving, this other side is thriving. So when you are able to get into this state, you are able to access more creativity. All right. Talk about like dopamine hits, oxytocin, dopamine.

These are feel good neurotransmitters that are associated with being in a parasympathetic nervous system. Or again, remember, this is your unconscious nervous system, right? This is the parasympathetic rest and digest the thriving part of your nervous system. This is where you feel connected to other people, where you have this connection and love.

When you feel like, man, everything’s okay. Like things are going good. This is okay. All right. And I want you to think about when you use food to cope. Are you in a survival mode where you’re like, Oh my God, what’s going on? And you feel like your anxiety going up and stress. Or are you in this place of connection and receptivity and love, right?

The sense of life is okay. I’m going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m going to thrive. This is where your creative genius starts to come out. Okay. And so it’s really important that you hear this. And even the last thing I’ll say about this rest and digest thriving part of your autonomic nervous system is that this is where you’re going to get the most metabolic capacity for the foods that you’re eating because you have blood flow going to all of your vital, like all of your organs, right?

Not just your arms and your legs so you can run and fight. But your whole body starts to get this nice flow. And so you start to digest your food even easier when you are in this rest and digest state. Okay. And so understanding this is going to help you. And if you can really pinpoint, we don’t usually, when we’re in a relaxation response, we tend to be a little bit relaxed around food, meaning it’s going to be okay.

Not a big deal. One of the things I have my clients do, Whenever we work through the food freedom formula, one of the parts of the food freedom formula is slowing down, paying attention and eating without distraction. Why do we do that? Because now you’re actually dropping your body into that rest and digest.

Autonomic nervous system state. Very important. Anyhow. So now you understand the difference. What I want to share with you, the big aha is like all this lead up for all of this is this particular thing I’m going to share. Again, this is the fastest way out of using food to cope. Why? Because it is the fastest way into parasympathetic nervous system.

All right. We get out of this thri the survival mode. We get out of the stress response. We get out of our life is threatened and stress is high. We get out of that into. Rest. Digest. Relaxation. Life is good. I’m thriving. So different than surviving. The fastest way to drop in to this particular state.

Are you ready for my answer? It’s pleasure. Pleasure is the answer. Pleasure is that thing. That literally is the fastest way to get you out of using food scope. Now, there are a ton of ways and I will tell you, I’m going to be just me, if you’ve been following me for some long time, I don’t live, how else should I say this?

I live on planet earth. I do not live up in the clouds. When we as emotional eaters, when we as people who use food to cope, ultimately what that’s saying is, we don’t trust the world, we don’t trust our bodies. Something’s going on in our bodies that don’t feel good, and we learn that food fixes it. Ah!

Like it’s a lot of survival mode. So getting you out of that survival and into thriving mode, into parasympathetic rest and digest nervous system, is probably the biggest work that you’re going to be doing, and to be able to do that regularly. And I will say, create one of the other things about overeating, binge eating, emotional eating.

Whenever we’re using food as the fix for everything, we’ve learned that food is our biggest pleasure, right? And so now it’s like an oxymoron. You’re like, wait a second. I’m trying to stop using food as the coping mechanism and the fix. But the other, the double bind here is food is the only thing I have for pleasure.

And this is where we want to change things. And I want to be really clear. We don’t want to take away food and pleasure because food is pleasure. If you were a normal eater, you would not feel guilty about the foods that you’re eating. You would eat in attunement to what your body needs. Hunger, like satisfaction, enough, right?

You would have these inner cues like locked and loaded. And part of it, the reason why food tastes so damn good and why we have a satisfaction quotient. Tied in with eating is because if we don’t eat we die like it’s part of our evolutionary makeup food is It has an absolute deep and important tie to pleasure.

We’re not taking that away. But what we need to do is we need to do two things. Number one, we need to find other ways in addition to food that create pleasure so that we can get back into that thriving parasympathetic nervous system state that we talked about earlier. I’m not going to get into it again.

That’s one thing. What else? And that’s what I’m going to talk about. We’re going to talk about a ton, so make sure to take notes. And then the second thing. Is you actually have to get back to food being pleasure. Cause what I, this is what I hear all the time. It drives me absolute bat shit crazy. You don’t understand Audra.

I love to eat. Like I love food. Food is the best ever. So you’re going to take that away. I know I need to lose weight.  I, whatever, whoever says this believes they want to lose weight. They know that like they’re on a weight loss journey, but if I’m going to lose weight, but how do I do that when I love food so much?

And so my argument there is I don’t think. You might love food as much as you think you do, but actually you’re not treating food the way that like that really needs to be true to it, treated if you actually truly love it, right? If it was the pleasure source you say it is, then eating it in a pleasurable way becomes very important.

But what most of us do is whenever we eat those pleasure foods, the foods that are like really satisfying or really pleasurable or whatever, we feel guilty about it. We judge ourselves the whole time we do it. We’re ashamed about it. We hide it. And then when we hide it. Now we try to eat it as fast as we can and shove it down our face as fast as we can.

So that way the evidence is gone and, Oh, okay. Now I got that in. You didn’t even effing enjoy it. You didn’t even connect to it. And that’s like a bigger problem. Like so many of us, like we focus on the what with food. Oh, this food is good and this food is bad, but I promise you, that’s not your problem.

It’s the why you’re eating it. And it’s the how you’re eating it. It’s not so much about the, what, it’s not that what is an important, but there’s a multi-billion dollar food industry that like has its fangs and claws in the what to eat right? And to be able to strip that apart is a lot of work.

And ultimately it’s less about what I promise you, your weight loss journey and coming into right relationship with food and body has so much more to do with how you’re eating it and not what you’re eating, but how you’re eating it and the experience of eating it. I just lost my train of thought.

Sorry. So let’s get back to that. All right, so when you’re eating food, decide you want to eat it, decide it’s the pleasure you want to have, decide you’re not going to have guilt around that. I know that’s a lot harder. So if you want more help with that, then I can definitely help you with that. We can get that going for you.

Let me go ahead and let me just put some banners up here. And again, for anybody watching this we’re going to have a brand new free five day challenge. It’s the hell. I think I’m going to call it the, I don’t even know what to call it yet, but it is five days to freedom. That’s what it is.

It is a challenge. It is five days to freedom. It’s around food, freedom, and body freedom. But also if you want. If you want help before that, like you guys can get help right away. You do not have to wait for a challenge a month away. If you are so sick of struggling with this, then it’s like yours for the taking.

Okay. All right. So let’s go ahead and dive in. Cause I’m not finished with these notes. I want to get into this. Okay. So stop hiding. And slow the whole thing down. Slow it down. You say you love food, but you eat it zoned out in front of the TV. You say you love food, but you eat it while you’re driving in the car, running, hurrying, rushing, getting from one place to the next.

You say you love food, but you eat it sitting in front of your computer, like zoned out on work or whatever, or YouTube videos or something. Like I’m telling you, if you say you love food, then let food be what it is meant to be, which is pleasurable and actually allow it to create that level of pleasure and satisfaction in your body.

Okay. So there’s that Now, what I really want to get into is I want to get into a lot of the basics around what it means to create pleasure bombs in your life like moments of actual dropping into pleasure. And again, as overeaters and emotional eaters, this often is very hard because we live in that stress response all the time, but I’m telling you when you can figure out how to drop into pleasure more and more, not just on a Friday night.

Like on the daily, you are going to get out of that survival nervous system into that thriving nervous system. And I’m telling you, when you are living there in that relaxed state, food loses its grip on you. Eight times out first six times out of 10 and then eventually eight times out of 10 then eventually 10 times out of 10 I’m telling you so the fastest way that I can get into pleasure and so I want you to try this as well.

So I’m going to give you a bunch of ideas here is with laughter is with something that gets me into laughter, which usually means I need to watch some comedy. Or scroll through some like TikToks or Instagram reels that are like comedians, like really funny comedians. And it’s just like this instant like You feel it, like it’s a dopamine hit.

It feels good, right? It’s the sense of, and I want you to think of the difference between watching  like a drama, or a crime, true crime thing, stress response, versus comedy. Light hearted, laughing your ass off. When’s the last time you laughed so hard you started crying?

When I did that last time, I literally started crying. The laughter was, I, it had been so long since I had laughed in such a big, audacious, authentic way, I couldn’t catch my breath. Tears are streaming down. I’m experiencing, I’m thinking I’m going to die. I’m like, am I ever going to be able to take an inhale?

Cause you know when you’re like, that’s what it was like. It was so funny. And then I finally take an inhale and then I literally start crying cause it’s so big and so much like emotion and dopamine hits and oxytocin, all this stuff thrown through my body. And then I went back to laughing and back to crying.

It was like the funniest thing ever. And afterwards, I felt like I just ran a marathon cause my lungs just got like a workout. It was like the best. I don’t know. It was just the best. So what can you do to induce some like laughter, like legitimate laughter in your life? This will bring you pleasure. All right.

So that’s the first, like we’re easing into the pleasure talk. Don’t worry. We’re going to go all the way there. All right. So laughter, watch some comedy. The next thing that can help in terms of like pleasure is using dance, music. And or art. So I have a little artist in my family now, and I’ve never been around this much art before, and we go to art museums now, we do this, and it’s like a dramatic weird pleasure hit whenever you see something, and you don’t even understand why you like it, something about it draws you to it, you feel different, and it really feels like a pleasure thing.

I don’t know where you guys live, but where I live in a big city in the U. S., and they have these Van Gogh Full immersive experiences. And now they’re doing them with Monet. And my family thought it was cheesy, but the whole, we did it for it was like an hour of our day or something like that, but like being submerged in art like that, I can’t even explain I just wasn’t even the same person as I was going there.

I was annoyed and we have so much to do. We have so much on our to do list. Survival mode. And as I experienced this submersive Van Gogh thing, I was like, my life is so lovely. This feels so good. And it literally was like a hit of pleasure. And another quick way to do it is like dance and music.

So I was just scrolling through my stories. And one of the gals I follow she was like, I’m going to have a day like this. And I had to hit the unmute button and it was some song and it was like a great song and it was just her. But just The 10 second clip. I literally felt it. I got a smile on my face and I started moving my body.

It was amazing. Okay, so the first thing, find some laughter. What can you do to laugh every day? Number two, dance, music, art. Can you find an awesome song and have a little dance party? Even if it’s just 10 seconds, even if it’s just one song. Can you find some way to tune into that space that will help get you back into that thriving state of your autonomic nervous system?

Let’s go a little deeper. Let’s go into touch. Let’s go into massage, right? This is, so we want to work with actual body pleasure. So laughter is body pleasure, right? Eating food is an embodied pleasure. Dancing, listening to music. We’re working with the sensory experience. This is embodied pleasure. Why does this work?

Because it drops you into parasympathetic nervous system. Okay. Now, obviously some touch doesn’t feel good.  Josh just pissed me off and he puts his arm around me, I’m like on full defense mode. That’s not what I’m talking about. Okay. I’m talking about. Like touch that feels like soothing and pleasurable, like going and getting a massage, getting a hug, petting your pet like literally like the suit, like that can feel like when my cat starts purring and doing like flip flops in my lap while she’s purring and I’m like, good Lord, I’m like, lovely, like it’s she’s so soft and silky.

It’s awesome, right? It’s the sensory experience that’s bringing pleasure hugs. Yeah. Human connection and hugs to humans that make you feel safe and make you feel good is a very important, good thing. Another thing that brings pleasure, I hope you guys are taking notes, I’m just like dropping them one after the other.

Because this isn’t just something you want to write down, I want you to write this shit down and I want you to figure out how you’re gonna fit at least two of these things, preferably five, every single day. Because this is what will, like, when you get out of that stress state, over and over, this is a way to stabilize that nervous system, and like I said, this is the fastest way out.

The fastest way out isn’t to Yes, you can take a nap. Yes, you can go for a walk. But what happens when you go for a walk? You’re still stewing in your shitty thoughts sometimes, right? When you can create levels of pleasure in your life, the pleasure itself is the antidote. I’m telling you. It is, it’s just, it’s the fastest.

It’s just such a fast way. Okay, next one is adorn your body. So this is a hard one for us people who struggle with our body. We don’t like our body. I’m too fat. I don’t want to wear this. I’m never going to buy new clothes until I lose this weight. It’s fucking crazy. You’re doing it wrong.

You’re doing it backwards. You adorn your body now and you figure out how to create pleasure now, right? And that’s going to feel like. Making sure you’ve got clothes that fit. I had a client. I love this. Like I’ve said this story a few times, but she reached out to me on Voxer and she went, I finally get it.

 She’s on a legitimate healing weight loss journey. But in this moment she made the decision to buy bigger panties. And she said, I can’t believe how comfortable I feel right now. I fucking deserve to feel good in my body. And she got it. And I was just so proud of her. I started crying. I’m just like, Oh my God, this is so important.

And the clothing you’re wearing. And I want you to think about what you’ve not just like that you feel good in the clothing you’re wearing, but I want you to think how can you adorn your body in a way that feels good. Jewelry. Like I’m not good at jewelry. I need to get better at jewelry.

I feel pretty when there’s a sense of pleasure, the clothing that I’m wearing, the colors that I’m wearing, sometimes putting on lipstick or makeup like what can you do? And yes, this is part of pleasure. It can be part of pleasure. Okay, I got another one for you. This just doesn’t end.

Connection with other humans. Now, we talked about touch in terms of hugs and touchy and connection with other people but actual connection with other people. Like, when’s the last time you’ve gone out with your bestie, with your girlfriend?

The last time I went out with one of the very few girlfriends I have here in Talis. It like fed my soul the level of pleasure just being able to enjoy like we went to this Spanish tapas place and we literally ate like Spaniards which meant we sat there for six hours Like barely nibbled on stuff.

It was like the most delicious wonderful pleasurable experience I had in so long and I needed it. It changed everything for me. It soothed my nervous system y’all. So how are you? creating these connections. Maybe it’s date night with your man, right? Maybe it’s family and friend connection, as long as it feels good for you, as long as it is a pleasure response and not a stress response.

There’s some family, like if I go over there, it’s like a stress response. I know it. I’m obliged. I want to go do the things, but that’s not the same as what we’re talking about here. I’m talking about. What level of connection can you continue to create in your life with the people that give you that pleasure response, right?

We’re not talking about pleasure in a sexual way in this moment. Don’t worry. We’ll get there. But right now it is just Understanding pleasure comes in all shapes and sizes in all different ways, right? And now finally let’s get to bodily and sexual pleasure. All right, here we go. So bodily pleasure. I need you to understand that your body was built for pleasure.

Your nervous system is always trying to seek out pleasure and avoid pain, right? So we want to be able to extract pleasure because your body is like a pleasure source, like crazy pleasure source. All right. And I know that this is so hard for us because If we already are struggling with body image, if we already are struggling with not liking our body, the problem is that you think, I will have pleasure once I get the body I want, but that’s not how it works.

You are in your now body. Your now body deserves, needs pleasure. It is your birthright, my friend. I don’t know what to fucking tell you. This matters, okay? One of the ways that we start In a gentle way, and I just want to make sure that you guys can see me here. Hold on, I hit the wrong button. Here, let me try this just making sure.

Okay is, check this out. Let me see, where’s, what arm should I use? Maybe this arm right here. Okay, there we go. Using your hands as just feeling like this. Okay, oh, taking it in, right? And then even just like this. This is nice. I’ve heard, I don’t know, I haven’t seen any research on it, but I’ve heard that your own body, like your sense of touch doesn’t know the difference between your touch or another human’s touch.

And it’s just so soothing. This feels like pleasure. It’s like soft, it’s soothing, right? There’s just as simple as Like allowing yourself to be in an experience with a sensation that you feel from touching your own arm Fucking pleasure y’all crazy. Okay, so that is a good place to start now.

We’re not gonna get into this We have a lot of this inside the Academy. There’s all sorts of we have breast massage. We have self-pleasure We have all sorts of pieces in here. Why because pleasure is the fastest way out of having food be the only answer. All right. And then finally, so I said hands on arms, self-pleasure, partner pleasure.

Obviously, go get your orgasm on. Like the physical benefits of orgasm.  Orgasm should be vitamin O. It’s like a whole vitamin that we need to have regularly. And I want to be really clear, it’s not your partner’s responsibility. To be in charge of your orgasms when you decide to be fully in charge of your own well-being and your own health.

Orgasms are a part of that, my friends, and making sure you are getting these like floods of dopamine and these floods of these like oxytocin, amazing chemicals that help you get out of that survival mode and into thriving mode is very important. Okay, so that’s what I have for you for today’s session.

I’m super excited. Let me just do a little recap, so that way we can get really clear about the pleasure piece. The very first piece we talked about was actually taking pleasure in your food. So don’t just hide it and feel guilty about it, but slow the whole thing down and actually pay attention and bring mindfulness to when you’re eating, that will actually activate pleasure with your food in a way that’s very normal and good.

Then we talked about laughter. So comedy clubs. Not comedy clubs. I never go to these movies TikToks, reels, things that make you laugh, like literally things that make you laugh out loud. And then we talked about dance, music and art. So throwing on some music, having a dance party, submersing yourself in art.

Then we talked about touch. So massage. Hugs, even petting your pet is a thing. Then we talked about adorning your body, putting on clothes that make you feel beautiful, that feel good color jewelry makeup. Then we talked about connection with other humans that make you feel safe, that make you feel good, that activate that parasympathetic, going out date night with your partner, going out with your bestie friend and family connections.

And then we talked about bodily And sexual pleasure. So knowing that this is your birthright, knowing that this is an embodied experience. So working with hands on arms and not and I’m showing you this because we’re in like, a live all over the internet thing, but like moving your hands all over your body, running your hands through your heads, right?

Self-pleasure, breast massage. Partner pleasure, orgasm, like the list goes on and on for pleasure. So this is super important that you hear this. If you struggle with your own relationship with your own sexuality struggle with your partner, all of these pieces, it’s a pretty powerful place to work from.

I’m also a certified love, sex, and relationship coach. So I’ve worked plenty with clients with this as well, but if that feels too much, which I will, from my experience, the last five years of doing this for my clients that are emotional eaters, overeaters, binge eaters, really struggling with their body.

That’s usually not the first place you want to start. You want to start in a place that makes your nervous system feel relaxed. So you want to start with some of the first things that we talked about. Okay. My friends, thank you so much for being here. Stick around. We’re going to do an amazing. It is the Five Days to freedom challenge.

We’re going to really go into food freedom and body freedom. I will do this five days. It’s free for everybody. If you do not want to wait until September to do this challenge, hello, body freedom. com forward slash apply. And we can talk about what’s going on and where you struggle with pleasure and where you’re struggling with overeating, binge eating or with just with your body in general, your relationship with food and relationship with body.

That’s what I do. Looking forward to helping you guys in serving you. Thank you so much for showing up today and I will see you on the other side. Bye everybody.

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