Get What You Want Without Being a B*tch to Your Body

Sometimes we’re so mean to ourselves.

Living in a body you love isn’t just about eating healthy food and exercising.
I know A LOT of women who eat perfectly, who exercise daily, and still hate their bodies.

I know even more women trying to fit into societies ideal beauty (i.e.: skinny, pretty, and quiet), but are suffering deeply with accepting and loving their body, struggle with their connection to others, and suffer sexually and inside intimate relationship.

I have the knowledge, the experience, and the expertise to get you on the path to true, eyes-wide-open holistic health and wholeness.

All we really want is to have a body that we’re actually proud of:  filled with life energy, spunk, and looks amazing every time we adorn her with a new outfit….preferably in the skinny-jean-size we want her to fit into!

But that’s just the beginning.  It’s not just about looking good and feeling good.  We want to feel in love with, and HOT for our partner, our self, and life in general… in a sexy relationship filled with intimacy, love, and connection.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re pretty happy with your body and your connection to yourself, your partner, and life, but you know there’s always room to go deeper, to feel more alive and connected.

Or maybe you’re like the 1000’s of clients I’ve worked with who really struggle with loving their body because it’s overweight, lethargic, or numbed out.  Or your upset because emotions always seem to get the best of you and before you know it you’re staring at the bottom of a Ben & Jerry’s pint or a bottle of red.  Unable to lose weight and keep it off.  And sex?  It’s pretty hard to like it or even want it when you can’t even feel at home in your own body.

Which ever rings true, you definitely landed in the right place.  You deserve to live in a body you love, to experience amazing connection, and live your life to the fullest.  I created this Manifesto to inspire you into action and to teach you what it really takes to get there.

The Food, Sex, and Dirty Little Secrets Manifesto is:

  • 100% Body positive, sex positive, and shame free
  • 100% Empowering women to step up and live their most AWAKE life in a body they love.
  • 100% Destroyer of Secrets.  Because Secrets = Shame. Truth Telling = Freedom
  • 100% Sisterhood supportive.  Because we need each other.

The Food, Sex, and Dirty Little Secrets Manifesto will help you:

Unravel the 3 Truths to help you see what’s holding you back.

  • Once you know the truth, you can’t go back.
  • What I reveal are the kinds of truths that set you on a path to freedom.

Uncover 5 Dirty Little Secrets that have been hiding from you.

  • Shine a light on secrets, and truths are revealed.
  • Change your mind and belief systems so that you can change your life.

Take action with 13 Down-n-Dirty Daily Practices.

  • Mentally and emotionally understanding what needs to change won’t get the job done.
  • Taking action and doing the daily practices will change you from the inside out.
  • Integrating these practices they will bring you into a deeper, more loving loving relationship with yourself, and deeper connections to those you love.
  • This all translates into feeling comfortable in your own skin, happy in your body.

Without further adieu, The Food, Sex, and Dirty Little Secrets Manifesto:

3 Truths:

Truth #1

You are enough.  You are worthy of and deserve love.  Period.

While you might get this at a cognitive level if you’ve read enough positive pop psychology, the truth is we wouldn’t spend so much time sabotaging ourselves if we knew this to be true at a visceral cellular level.  Not realizing this truth creates suffering. Our work is to uncover the layers of untruths so that we unveil our innate truth of I am enough, I am lovable.


Truth #2

What you think is the problem, is actually the solution.

Do you think overeating, dieting, binging, not exercising, not liking sex very much, hating your body, over-drinking, or over-spending are problems?  These unwanted behaviors are the places where we think we’re broken, but they’re actually the gateways to awakening and to realizing our full potential.


Truth #3

Transformation occurs not from trying to change yourself, but from removing blockages and fears in order to reveal your wholeness.

At your core, you are good, you are whole, you are not broken.  By removing blockages and fear around your belief systems, your sexuality, your heart, there is a remembering of who you truly are.  And because our sexuality is a huge part of who we are and what it means to be human, we realize that it’s nearly impossible to truly love your whole self without a deep acceptance and integration of your own sexuality.  This is a direct path to vibrant health, living your most AWAKE life, and living in a body you truly love, honor, and respect.



5 (Dirty Little) Secrets:

#1 Dirty Little Secret:
What I resist persists.  What I accept heals.  What I love transforms.

Look at ANYTHING you don’t want or don’t like about your life.  Read the above. Let it sink in.  This no longer has to be a secret.



#2 Dirty Little Secret:
The secret of microscopic truth telling.

WHAT WE HIDE FROM THE WORLD OWNS US.  When we hide it creates an environment of shame.  Shame is highly correlated with bullying, eating disorders, addiction, depression, aggression, and violence.  Shame cannot exist where there is truth. Truth is the light that shines bright, evaporates shame, and opens your life to true freedom.



#3 Dirty Little Secret:
The secret of addressing addictions.

All addiction we experience stems from a misunderstanding of who we really are.  Whether the compulsive need is rooted in substance (alcohol, drugs, food), in behavior (workaholism, overspending), or negative emotions like fear and victimization, the price we pay is death of our freedom and loss of peace of our spirit.  Part of the human struggle is to rise above our addictions so that we can live with a free and unlimited spirit.



#4 Dirty Little Secret:
The secret of sisterhood.

In construction, when there are structures that need extra support, they call the process of creating the extra support ‘sistering’, and the support pieces themselves are called ‘sisters’.  I can’t think of a better analogy as to why sisterhood is so deeply needed in our lives.  You’re not meant to deal with the stressors of life alone.  Instead you call in your sisters for support.



#5 Dirty Little Secret:
The secret of devotion.

The practice of devotion toward your Greater Good–and to what and who matters most to you–will bring about deep responsibility to keep moving forward.  When we approach living our best life with a sense of devotion, then we recognize the importance of the journey and gain the perseverance to keep showing up, even when (especially when) we don’t want to.



13 Down-n-Dirty Daily Practices:

1. Agree to be here – After all…it’s all we’ve got

Notice when you feel resistance:  you wish your thighs didn’t touch, you can’t believe that asshole just cut in line, you like the sun but not the clouds.  In that moment you have two choices: 1. To keep pushing it away, which is equal to saying you only want to live a half-full life, or 2. Make the decision in that moment to agree to be here, with the sun and the clouds, with the thighs you have, and even that asshole that just cut in line.  One of the most powerful choices a human can make is agreeing to be here…warts and all.


2.  Breathe baby breathe – Let your breath be the guide

While meditation is great (and highly encouraged), you can experience more presence in any moment whether you’re working on levitating or not :-).  Stop.  Look up.  Take a few deep, giant belly breaths.  Repeat this in the car, while cooking, in conversation… in as many different situations as you can imagine.  This is a great trick to get you in the present moment.


3. Turn it all off – Disconnect to reconnect


We run through life at warp-speed grasping for something to fulfill us, but we’re so damn busy that we can’t even witness the longing of our own heart.   Just. Stop. Disconnect. Go within.  Take time out of your life on a weekly basis to let go of technology, spending money, running around, and being busy.  When we slow down-with ourselves and our loved ones-we are brought back to our true nature of inspiration and creativity.


4. Self Care 101 – Take care of this one sweet precious body.

It doesn’t have to be rocket science, but it needs to be non-negotiable.  Your body is a temple.  It’s the only vessel you get to experience your extraordinary life on this amazing planet. With exquisite care and kindness, take good care of her.
Sexual self practice.


5. Live well below your means – With grace and gratitude.

Consumerism, when not checked, is poison.  It’s ruined countless dreams and splendid plans all in the name of more, more, more.  This is not about deprivation, it’s about experiencing true grace and gratitude with what you already have.


6. Eat when you’re hungry – Stop when you’re full

Here are the basics:  If you want to eat, ask yourself:  “Am I actually physically hungry?”  If the answer is yes, then eat what you truly want and stop when you’re full.  If the answer is no, then practice feeling whatever feelings come up without turning to food (or alcohol, or sex, or drugs or spending money, etc)  I know, I know… easier said than done!  But it IS the path to freedom with food.


7. Forgiveness and Gratitude – A daily elixir for profound joy, healing, and getting what you want

I cannot stress this enough:  If you don’t incorporate these two things in your everyday life, you’ll stay exactly where you are, stuck and unable to move forward.  Forgiveness isn’t for them… it’s for you.  And being in a state of gratitude raises your energy to match a higher vibration. Coupled together, these could be the most important things you can do to change your life.


8. Feel your feelings – Increase your capacity for emotional intelligence


Unless you have highly evolved parents, most of us were never taught emotional intelligence, and some of us were even shamed for our feelings: men are taught not to cry; women are labeled crazy or dramatic for being “too emotional”.  Yet it’s pretty impossible to be in an intimate relationship, or any meaningful relationship for that matter, without creating space for emotions.  Keep expanding your capacity for emotional health, practice feeling what you’re feeling.  Most of need support in this category, so working with a coach or therapist can be highly transformative.


9. Awakened communication – with an open heart and clear boundaries.


Awakened communication doesn’t happen alone. It takes (at least) two to tango.  You’re responsible for your part which includes clear communication boundaries:  what’s okay (disagreement/connection) and what’s not okay (screaming/name calling).  Now… lets talk.

Stop.  Slow down.  Take a deep breath (or 3).  Pay attention.  Look at the person in front of you and see their good.  Can you see the light in them?  Let your open and vulnerable heart connect the two of you and create flow between you both.


10. Adventure, play, novelty –  The lifeblood of a healthy, vital, playful life + partnership.


When did we get so serious?  Bringing play, novelty, and adventure into your life and into your partnership keeps it light, new, and exciting….not to mention H.O.T.!  Weekly adventures with your people. Exciting surprises with your lover. Let spontaneity become a regular practice.


11. Turn yourself on!  Follow your bliss


Is there something unexplainable that’s drawing you to take salsa dance lessons?  (DO IT!) What is that thing inside calling out to you to spend more time in nature?  (GO!)  By making time for and prioritizing the things that are calling out to you, that light you up, or give you butterflies in your tummy, you are expanding your capacity for happiness, creativity, and pleasure.  Following your bliss opens you deeper to your truth.


12. Everyday Sensuality. Expand your ability to feel alive in this moment.


We experience the world through our senses.  The deeper we can connect to our world through our senses, we expand our ability to feel and be present.  How can you make your space more visually appealing, sounds more thoughtful, tastes and smells more delicious, and touch exquisite?


13. Ritual – Create something out of nothing .  


Nothing has meaning until we bring meaning to it.  To do this, we can make the ordinary extraordinary.  Set the table using beautiful plates and a gorgeous center piece.  Take a moment to light candles or play some sexy music before making love.   There are so many places we can create ritual to bring more depth to any moment.